5: Kennedy

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By the time I get home it's past 10 o'clock and I'm starving. After I finished work at 2 I had to go to the library, where I somehow ended up studying for like 5 hours. By the time I was ready to head home I realized I hadn't eaten since about 8 this morning so I went to chipotle. It was amazing and I am very happy with my decision.

Except now I feel slightly ill and can feel a massive headache coming on. Oh well, worth it.

As I'm walking through the parking lot, I see a women staring at me. I smile at her and open my mouth to say little hello when I get this weird feeling. I glance around, but it's too dark to see much. When I look back at the women she's looking out towards the parking lot, like she's searching for something. Maybe she feels weird too. I hurry up, pulling out my fob and opening the door.

When I get to my apartment, my anxiety from the parking lot lingers.

There goes another strike in my "why not to walk alone at night" column.

••

After showering, doing a face mask and using some white stripes, I feel a lot better and my mind wanders back to my shift today.

Greyson Kingsley. I knew I recognized that guy, I just didn't think it was the infamous King. I don't really know why he's so popular on campus, he seems really mean... but he was probably just having a bad day. Apparently he's a really good fighter, like gonna be a professional someday. I don't know why anyone would ever want to fight people, it seems like an awfully mean sport. Not to mention punchy. I can barely open a bottle without hurting my wrist, how could anyone punch people without breaking all their bones? Also the facts that he goes by King rubs me the wrong way because what in the Wattpad? Like his last name is literally Kingsley... why wouldn't he just go by that. Or by his first name. Maybe he's has a god complex and thinks he's really cool.

I can't help my physical cringe thinking about how I was talking to him—not with him, because that would require a response. And at the fact that I went to the back room after to have a breakdown. He was just so mean. Actually not even technically mean just so dismissive, it was like he doesn't know how to be a decently polite person. Or carry a conversation. Or make someone not feel bad about themselves. You're being too sensitive Kennedy, not everyone has to be nice to you.

It was just so embarrassing. Why did I have to babble like that? And why, god why, did I have to tell him my coffee order? I don't think I'll ever forget the look on his face, like he'd rather rip his own hair out than listen to me talk. I wish I was one of those people who doesn't care what other think, life would be a lot easier I think. But of course, I'm not. So I'll probably think about today forever, looking back on it and thinking Kennedy what the fuck is wrong with you?

Coco all of a sudden comes running straight at me tail puffy and back arched and I have just enough time to dive back into the bathroom.

I think I'm growing on him.

••

Last night I barely got any sleep. Between picking apart my interaction with Greyson and the lingering anxiety from the parking lot, I'm exhausted. I've already had 3 coffees yet I can barely keep my eyes open in class. My prof is talking about some theory and formulas and it takes everything in me not to close my eyes and rest my head on the desk.

I take out my planner, deciding to make a to-do list for the day that I know I won't end up completing, but since I'm definitely not gonna absorb anything from this lecture, might as well do something.

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