what (part 2)

854 19 8

Trigger warning- Mentions of child abuse, mentions of self-harm, suicide attempt, homophobia, and bullying.

Jake's POV: (from an almost third person view again)

Unless they've gone through something similar, they just won't get it. Everyone says, "it's okay, thing will get better just keep going!". But if they were in the same situation, they would 100% not want to keep going. And why do they always think its as simple as to keep going, what happens when you can't keep going anymore?

Have you ever just lied awake at night staring at the roof wishing for all these feelings to go away with no luck? You try everything to convince yourself that's it's not worth it and that ending everything wont help, but the idea is planted into your mind. And that's when you decide that there's not a point in staying on the earth anymore as it is. There's no one who cares about you, no one who will be upset, no one that will even really notice. Its not like you were exactly apart of anyone's life, more just a shadow in the back of their minds.

You've probably already had the plan somewhere in your head ready for when this moment come. Before you know it you've found what you were planning to take, no one even bothered looking out for the warning signs so of course you knew where to find it. You take it and pass out shortly after, into what you believe to be the end of life.

Lol, you were wrong. Morning comes around and you wake up. Nausea swirling in your stomach, head pounding, the memory of last night almost slipping past but surely enough it doesn't. And here's just yet another thing you've failed at.

Third view POV:

Jake once again wakes up and looks around the room. 'Not dead. Again. God how many times am I going to fail at this?', he wonders. He sits up fast, too fast. The dizziness mixed with the nausea causes him to throw up all the contents form the previous night. As that's happening Jake's shirt rubs against his arm as usual and causes the boy to gasp and roll up his sleeve. Shit, he didn't remember doing it that much. Though he doesn't remember much lately, everything appears as a blur.

He realizes that because he's woken up again it means he has to go to school. Jake really doesn't want to go but if his dad catches him still home... he shivers at the thought of what his dad would do to him. Stripping his bed, he throws everything into the wash and has a shower. He may feel dead inside but if he came to school looking dead things would be 100% worse. Why can't anyone just notice that he's not in the right headspace? Why does no one care about him? What the fuck had he ever done to deserve this shit?

Devon's POV: (at school)

Jake walks into school with his head down as usual. His movements appear slower than they normally do, and he doesn't even look up when Junior yells something about him being a faggot. For once he didn't even have a bag with him, just himself and a glum expression. I feel guilty, really guilty. He probably just needs someone to talk to, but I'm too scared to do it myself. I have a crush on the dude and don't want to fuck things up by making him talk and upsetting him from-. "ouch", I groan looking at what had hit me. It wasn't a what, it was a who. Lexy had pushed him straight into me causing us both to topple over onto the ground. "Sorry," he whispers. He sounds tired and looks even more tired. It looks like he hasn't slept in days, eyes bloodshot, and I think there might even be tears on his face, but I don't get a chance to check again because he's already jumped up and walked away.

"You should've seen his face", Lexy laughs walking up to me. I just glare at her earning a confused look from both her and Junior. "What is it man?" Junior laughs. I want to say something about how they are treating Jake, but I don't, instead I get up and follow Jake until he stops and enters a random room. The rooms pretty dark but I can still make out Jake's expressions. He just sits on the ground and starts crying. He mumbles out something that I can't quite understand but it sounds like, "Please just let me die." Oh... I have to say something to him. I need him to stay alive, I should've talked to him earlier...


Part 3 sometime this week. I dont have alot of motivation so forgive me lol.

its okay// jevon (jake x devon)Where stories live. Discover now