My Bubblegum King

30

Paxton Flynn

"It's okay if you hate me now, I completely understand," Diego said, relaxing on the wall away from me.

It's been minutes since he told me he was once in the frat participating in the so called godforsaken tradition that dug up my worst fears from the pit of hell I thought they were buried in. I didn't say anything to him and I still haven't. He waited and when he saw I wasn't responding he left me to my space and finally found his way to the bathroom, definitely to go wash up the red stains on his body. Now he was out and after silently watching me for more minutes, he was finally speaking.

"I'm sorry," he said again when I said nothing. "I guess I thought when I got sick of it all and left, everybody stopped but that didn't happen. I never ever wanted this to happen to you Paxton, I swear and I'd do anything to pay for it."

"What did you do?" I asked, my voice coming out hoarse and dry like I swallowed a handful of sand. "W-when it was your time, what did you have to do to get in?"

"Uh—"

"You know what? Don't tell me, I don't want to know."

He sighed.

I did too. I couldn't imagine Diego, the lovely Animal loving Diego that I knew and had come to adore so much could participate in such a thing. I couldn't even imagine him chasing an innocent person down and hitting them and trying to—

"I was stupid then. Young, foolish and just very stupid. I wanted to fit in so bad, I wanted my own people, I didn't want to feel lonely anymore and then the frat looked like the best place to be. I have no excuses even but I swear Paxton, I'm not that person anymore."

I abruptly got up, holding it the pain I got from my sides. I swallowed, I didn't know what do to, I couldn't think straight. I knew he wasn't the one who attacked me, I knew he was good and I knew he cared for me. But at the moment I couldn't stop imagining him doing the same to some other innocent guy and I couldn't stop being angry. "I have to go."

"Paxton," he called my name with so much pain. It hurt me too.

"I'm not angry," I lied. "I just have to go. This is a lot to take in now and- and I'd rather be in my dorm."

Diego stayed silent for a while before I started hearing him moving. "Okay, whatever you want. Can I drive you?"

"No, I want to go on my own."

He nodded and went around gathering my things and handing me my bag. It pained me that I couldn't bring myself to look at his face but I knew I'd only hurt myself more by doing that. I took it, along with my phone and headed for the door.

"Freshman?" I stopped. "For what it's worth, I'm really sorry."

I know.

I opened the door and left.

*

I never knew Sim and Ry could be so pampering. Ry basically came to sleep over at your dorm and Sim would continuously ask about me every hour that I wasn't sleeping. It was wonderful, they made me feel really loved and less lonely. Sebastian even chatted me up, he apologized for not calling back — I couldn't even remember when he was supposed to — and explained how busy he had been. I could hear the tiredness in his voice and all I wanted was to be his arms. And just fall asleep listening to his heartbeat, perceiving his bubblegum scent and feeling his warmth on me.

I consoled myself with the fact that things like this won't happen if Seb was here with me and even if it would happen it would be much better to do deal with. I just had to wait a little more. But then Diego is here and I probably wouldn't be here today if not for him but then...