Reclamation

9 - Reconciliation

The next morning is very tense. Vic is clearly upset about my lie but still drives us to the daycare, feeds us, helps me clean up, and then drives us home. All the while not saying a single word to me. The apartment is quiet without Vic here. He used to hang out with us nearly everyday after work. Simple things like helping with dinner and bath time and watching a movie with us. He used to always make everything so fun.

I spend the evening coloring with Ella as the kids channel plays in the background. Its past her bedtime and i know she'll be cranky tomorrow if she doesn't sleep soon but I've missed hanging out with her so much.

A loud song comes from the toy commercial it switched to. Ella looks up to watch the kids on screen enthusiastically rave about the product. Before she can ask me to buy it I push the power button on the remote.

"Sleepy?" I ask, brushing her hair away from her droopy eyes.

She nods, picking up her crayons to put them away. Daycare has taught her a lot. Like not hating going to sleep and putting away her toys. It's a godsend, really. I pick her up and take her to brush her teeth. As I watch her brush I lean against the bathroom wall. I can hear the shower running in Vic's apartment. He usually showers in the morning.

After tucking Ella in I go back to the bathroom and press my ear against the wall. The hair dryer is blowing. I feel a little sad. It's like Vic's life is going on completely normal without me.

I shake my head. I'm being ridiculous. Everyone needs to take showers.

I decide to go to bed early, hoping I can talk to Vic tomorrow.

Before I make it to my room there's a knock on the door. I run to answer it since Ella just asleep.

"Hey." I say quietly, leaning against the frame. We're both in our pajamas.

"H-hey." He swallows. "Can we talk?"

"Sure, do you want some coffee?"

"Yes please." He sits on the couch and I grab two mugs of coffee and sit next to him. "Listen, Kellin."

I stare at the mugs on the coffee table and suddenly realize that I don't want this confrontation. Unfortunately it's too late to back out.

He takes my hand in his, making my breath hitch. "I really really love you." He sighs. His thumb rubs the back of my hand as he thinks of his next words. "Is there anything else you lied about?" He stares at me worriedly.

I quickly shake my head. "Nothing."

He nods. "Please dont tell me anymore lies, Kell. You're putting me in a very very difficult position here."

"Okay." I say quietly. "I'm really sorry."

"If we had sex one day earlier I could've gone to jail."

I just keep quiet, knowing I'll make it worse if I say something dumb.

He groans and pulls me into a very tight hug. "I have all these feelings for you. I've never had these feelings for anybody else."

"Me too." I mumble into his shoulder.

"We gotta get your papers sorted, I can't keep paying you under the table. It's bad enough I let you watch kids when you were only seventeen." He drops his head into his hands. "I can't believe I just said that."

"I'm sorry." I say.

"I don't know what to do." Vic squeezes my hand. His face is all scrunched up with stress and I hate that I put him in this position. I wish we could go back to that night on the beach and live in that moment forever. "You're so young."

I cringe and turn away. I try to think of something to say but I can't. Hopefully Vic is still attracted to me. I don't believe that this would be the end of our relationship. He said he loves me just a moment ago. Would he say that if he planned on ending this?

My head snaps up when I hear a sniffle. Vic has his head down in his hands, shoulders shaking slightly. "Vic, what's wrong?"

"You're only eighteen, Kellin." He says shakily. I hesitate, not really knowing how to respond. "All that terrible stuff happened to you and you were so young."

I suddenly feel uncomfortable with all the stuff I told him. Now he'll just think of me as broken and helpless. I stand up and take our coffee mugs to the sink, feeling very sleepy and jittery at the same time.

I sigh and let me chin drop to my chest. The water runs in the sink until the mugs are overflowing. I hear footsteps, then the water turns off, then Vic wraps his arms around me.

"Is this wrong?" He asks me. His breath is hot against my neck. I lean into him more. "Is it wrong for me to love you?"

"Trevor was also much older than me." I say quietly, hoping he'll feel better knowing this isn't the first time I'm in a serious relationship.

"Kellin, that is the last thing I want to hear." He stresses. "I already feel like I'm taking advantage of you, I don't want to have anything in common with your ex."

"Sorry." I turn to face him. "You're nothing like him. I didn't love him, I love you. I'm not some naive kid who can be taken advantage of, Vic"

He looks down at me with pain and longing.

"I'm strong now." I tell him. "You made me strong."

I kiss him deeply. It takes him a moment to respond but when he does it's like everything has mended itself. Vic pushes all the worries and negativity away and holds me in his safe bubble.

"Stay the night." I tell him.

He pulls away from my lips with a gasp. "Maybe we need more space."

"I don't want anymore space." I kiss him again. "I need you, Ella needs you"

He doesn't protest as I pull him by the arm all the way to my bed. We cuddle chastely until we're both asleep and I pray that everything will be alright.