Of Caverns and Casters ✓ [TLRQ #1]

Chapter 65 - Aster

A fire crackles nearby, and the firm ground beneath me confirms I've returned to my body, but I don't open my eyes.

My uncle is dead. His body is alive for now, but his mind will never return to it. My uncle is dead, my country needs me, and instead of being there, I'm off on some fool's quest for power that, if I'm painfully honest with myself, I knew I'd never obtain. My country and my family need me, and I've abandoned them.

I am a traitor.

"Aster?" The worried word cuts into my thoughts.

My eyes crack open. The debilitating weakness I felt before the Meadow has been washed away with the return of my consciousness—the solitary benefit of that horrendous spell. My uncle is dead.

Leavi's concerned face hovers over mine. As soon as she registers my open eyes, her arms wrap around my neck. Her voice is muffled against me. "You're alive."

But Agraund isn't. My thoughts hang heavy on all he told me—how N'veauvia is already under siege, how Sela's body was lying, bleeding out, in a castle hall. And then the Voices—You are more useful to us than your uncle. They can't care about Morineaux if they think that.

I sit up, pulling away, and bite my lip. I can't tell her I was sacrificing myself so the actually useful Second Son, the second most important person in Morineaux, could stay and help with the catastrophe that's begun in my absence. I can't tell her that I'm a traitorous, runaway prince, full of foolish ideas and stupid decisions.

I can't tell her what's really going on.

She catches my eye. "Aster?"

My mouth opens, but no sound comes out. Finally, I nod and force out, "Yes. I—" I look away. "I'm glad you're okay."

The fire pops. "Aster." Her hand grasps mine tightly, and I startle, turning to look into the dark wells of her eyes. "You have to stop doing that."

My hand pulls out from hers to run through my hair. "Doing what?"

Her fingers creep up to her charm. "Giving up your life for other people's."

I laugh. As if I could ever not. Isn't my job as Second Son to live for my people? Pain like ice stabs my chest, the bitterness overcome by grief. When I get home, I'll be all they have of a Second.

Her face falls in compassion. Softly, she says, "What the Voices did was not your fault."

My lips screw to the side, but I don't say anything.

"Aster?"

"Yes?" A log cracks in the flames, and sparks shower the hearth. I was wrong before, I think, about fire desperately trying to extend its power. No, instead, it's just there, consuming and sacrificing its fuel without thinking of the consequences.

She shifts on the wooden floor. "Why did you lie to me?"

I glance at her, then turn back to the fire. Its flames mock me. "There wasn't enough time for the truth. You would have argued." If we didn't decide quickly, the enemy soldiers in the castle could have killed Sela and Agraund before the spell finished, or Sela would have just finished bleeding out despite the spell.

Agraund died anyway.

Leavi scoots up to draw even with me, mouth opening, but I don't want to have the rest of this conversation. "Why did we come back here?"

Her face draws tight. "The manor guards showed up at Marcí's."

I wince. "But they won't follow us here?"

"I don't think so." She pulls her knees up. "The townsfolk think it is haunted. But we have a watch posted. Just in case." The silence stretches as we both stare into the flames.

I need to go home.

Finally, Leavi turns to me again. "Aster?"

I feel drained, and the emptiness in my voice reflects that. "Yes?"

"When you cast that spell on Bukki..." Her hand twines in her necklace. "Did you know it would kill you?"

Her eyes search my face. I don't know. "No." She cocks her head, and I correct myself. "I knew it was dangerous. But I thought—I hoped..."

Her brows draw together. "Why—" She shakes her head, as if she can't quite comprehend it. "Why did you risk that?"

I turn back to the fire. "Why did you rescue me?"