The Moments I Recall (CY)

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Book: The Moments I RecallAuthor: DISTANTDREAMER21Genre: Mystery/ThrillerChapters Reviewed: 1-5

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Book: The Moments I Recall
Author: DISTANTDREAMER21
Genre: Mystery/Thriller
Chapters Reviewed: 1-5

Cover: (95/100)
Absolutely amazing cover! This is a beautiful cover that, though it doesn’t reveal much about the plot, does an amazing job drawing in readers by its sheer beauty alone. The only thing I can say is that it’s a little dark, and there’s not a lot of contrast between the colors. Perhaps the purple splotches can be spread out a little more and occupy some more space, and maybe you can add some colorful highlights to the top half of your cover just to add some extra eye-grabbing elements. Overall, I think your cover serves its purpose well!

Blurb: (75/100)
I personally love Blurbs that feature an excerpt from the story itself, but with choosing to have this excerpt comes an extra risk; If it isn’t written perfectly, readers will have predisposed opinions of your story and writing style before even reading the first page. For example, I myself am a very, very judgemental reader (only in my head of course, so let me just get it out of the way that I loved your story once I started reading it), and one of the first things I noticed is your tendency to overcomplicate sentences using way more words than necessary. Though it’s an excerpt and you can’t do all that much to change it, remember that blurbs should be short and sweet, not mouthfuls of sentences. There’s not really much else wrong with the excerpt portion, and I think you made a wise choice in the part you chose, one that intrigues readers, the second most important aspect. I’ve gone ahead and edited it slightly, just to give you an idea:

As he looks out beyond the edge, I can’t seem to pull my eyes away from him. He smiles, then speaks, but I can’t hear a word he says. The buzzing is growing quieter by the second until it’s only silence. I watch his mouth move, inaudible words flowing into the air, his hands open, gesturing while he speaks. I watch him as he turns to face me, assuring himself that I’m still following, and then his eyes rest on me, his mouth now still. He mouths my name again with a tilt of his head, trying to read me. There’s nothing I can tell him; there’s nothing that won’t change things. But If I keep this going, things will change.

“Xylia.” His mouth forms my name.

I know I said before that I slightly edited it, but I may have gotten a little carried away. I’m not telling you to rewrite your blurb, just take notice of some of the ways I’ve condensed and improved the flow of the blurb. I’m a fan of the way you write, just keep in my mind to use less words to make it flow better. The Three Basics of a good Blurb are: It’s short length, it’s intriguing aspects, and it’s accurate grammar.

It’s absolutely essential that your blurb is perfect, because it’s the only thing between a Wattpader and the Read button. I’ll quit rambling about blurbs now, but I’ve also edited the remainder of it:

Xylia doesn’t remember any of it, despite the fact she’s live through it all. She must watch herself remake every choice, every mistake, everything she had to do the first time to find herself once more. 

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