Two Eyes Down

Seatbelt

"Babe, babe, nat, ba-"

"What?!" I shout playfully at Demi.

She had taken me on an adventure to an empty field. She says its beautiful, but I wouldn't know that. So she described the scene to me.

It was late, probably close to one in the morning. The spot overlooked all of San Fransisco. The lights of each tower and the occasional entertainment spaces glittered off the crystal lake in front of us. The moon was only a sliver in the sky, surrounded by stars flickering like dying lightbulbs.

She was on my right, leaning back in her upright body. Her forehead was against the side of my head, causing the body heat of ours clash together in that spot. It sounded like the perfect scenery, like something in those cheesy love movies. I hate the movies, but in real life I love those moments.

I was getting tired so every time my eyes closed Demi would tickle my sides and call to me repeatedly.

"Don't leave me." She whines into my neck before kissing the spot she was talking into. I giggled and turned to kiss her on the mouth.

"Never."

the light kiss turned into heavy kissing. Eventually, I was on top of Demi and our tongues were intertwined. Her hands found my hips and my arms were settled on either side of her head. I slid my tongue out of her mouth and bit her lip before pulling it gently. Then I returned to kissing her, soft and slow. She didn't rush, she wasn't distracted, she wasn't forceful. She was like a tissue on a blanket. Soft, clean, delicate.

We had to stop however, when she started to giggle. I wasn't mad in the slightest though. There is no better feeling than your love laughing into your mouth. In pure bliss, she stops, suddenly serious.

"I love you so fucking much."

"I love you too."

I lay next to her and she shifts so her right arm was on one side of me while her body leaned on the other. Since the whole mood swing I had, she's been constantly by my side. Even when I slept, there she was. When I had my nightmare that night, she got my medication, gave it to me, and brushed the hair that fell on my face until my slumbered sent me into oblivion.

I don't know what I did to get this. I guess it's a whistful relationship. I longed for her, maybe she felt the same the same toward me. It wasn't for the sake of being lonely or needing something to occupy you. It was like a pull. That moment where someone seems to slowly pull themselves away from you. forcefully or under the influence of the little people spitting slurs of condescendence at them. But it isn't allowed, you always grab them by the wrist and say 'I won't let go'.
Sometimes it's me and sometimes it's her. There is no specific broken and unbroken one in the relationship. Everyone needs someone to hold at some point.

I wake up, surrounded by dew coated grass. There is a chill brushing my skin through the air and I immediately feel the warm presence that I have gotten used to is absent. I feel around, but all I return with is her leather jacket and a wet hand. As I pull it over my shoulders, to lazy to slide my arms through the sleeves I here something.

A car's engine purrs as it rolls on the hill I am sitting on. Then a car door opens and closes before footsteps come up to me. They didn't even stop the car.

"We need to go baby girl. We have things to do." Demi says, grabbing me by my armpits and lifting me to my feet as if I'm nothing. She holds my hand and we hop into the car. She buckles but I just sit there. I'm becoming dependent on Demi's presence. I woke up soon after Demi left, as if our sleep patterns have crossed. This is another step of reliance. I've gotten quite good at pretending I'm fine with some of the things. Put on a smile and be extra bubbly, like Demi in front of cameras. Sometimes I can go on with our romance novel that's being written as we go on with our lives together without interruption. Others, I just want to cry myself until I shrivel in a corner like a forgotten raisin in a school cafeteria.

"Nat, baby, buckle up." She says, stopping what she was doing. I snapped out of my thoughts, but realize it isn't worth it.

"I'll just have to take it off in a minute anyway, we're just going down the road." I say, my mind torn between this one I'm living in and the one that has managed to form in my head.

"But if I crash-"

"I'm trusting you not to. But if you don't trust you then maybe I'm putting to much faith into this." I almost look away, but I realize what I said. "Listen, that came off bad, I'm sorry. But, I'm restricted by everyone in any other aspect of my life. Give me this one simple thing, and I'll be pleased, at least for now."

"Fine, but you aren't allowed to let go of my hand until we get you home," Demi compromises.

"You always hold hold my hand in the car. I don't mind it. I don't know why it's a rule-"

"It's an order right now. If I was to get us in an accident, I want to be connected when we die together. We can both go out with a bang. I will carry out endlessly silent confessions of love to you with my last breath. When the police and fire department and ambulance come, they'll see it even when my heartbeat is dead. They'll see it as I exhale one last time and my eyes slowly lose the life in them. Because I will be breathing you in and looking at you one last time before I go. It can be all over the place, 'Demi Lovato dies in horrific crash holding lovers hand'." I feel her smile as she finishes the headline. I smile too, but I'm crying on the inside. I don't want her to die.

"You're wearing your seatbelt." I blurt out.

"No I'm not. If you get to be free, I'll be free with you." I hear the buckle click and the fabric glides over the plastic that holds it. Then she's off, driving as she sings along to the radio. I squeeze her hand, and the sentence that describes what we have I comes back into the foreground of my thoughts.

I won't let go
----------------------------------------------I improved this so much while I was rereading to get back into it. Basically have it a facelift and ten plastic surgeries. Vote, comment, follow. But only if you feel like it.

Questions:

Do you like Natalie's theories, or her relationship talks more? Why?

Is the speech demi gave the deepest she's ever gone (verbally) into the relationship?

Is this story picking up to you?

What is your favorite Datilie moment?