Sorry for the swear words but they are really funny so enjoy.
Yo llamas so stupid that when it tried throwing a rock at the ground it missed.
Yo llamas so fat that when you were watching 60 minutes you missed 60 minutes of it.
Yo llamas so stupid that it tried to commit suicide by jumping of the curb.
Yo llamas so stupid that when it went to a restaurant they said food was on the house so it climbed a ladder to the roof.
Yo llamas so stupid that when robbers were robbing it, it helped them look for money.
Yo llamas so fat they have run around it just to get exercise.
Yo llamas so ugly that people said, "damn I didn't know there was a Halloween in December?"
Yo llamas so fat that when Santa came down the chiminey he said, "ho,ho,holy shit!"
Yo llamas so poor that when robbers broke into its houser hey gave it money said, "here you'll need the money more!"