Broken Mirror- Ranboo angst

<Chapter Two> Almost...

⚠️ TW: suicidal thoughts, mentions of suicide attempts, swearing, crying, voices, self hate, hate ⚠️
I think that's it, please comment if I missed any! Enjoy :)

It had been two weeks since that incident in the English class, and Ranboo had heard the same voice quite a few times since.

He'd managed to hide it well though, none of his friends had caught on yet.
He'd never want to tell them, they would just think he's crazy, and he didn't want that.

Plus, they already had their own problems to deal with, they didn't need any more weight on their shoulders.

Today Ranboo was laying on his bed, scrolling through Twitter, aka the last place you should go when you want some peace and quiet.

He was reading through the different tweets, when one in particular caught his attention. 
It said,

AnonymousNightmare101  @Nightmare101
Is anyone else bothered by the fact that Ranboo hasn't streamed in 5 days now? Like, isn't he meant to be a streamer? He keeps saying he streams daily, then just goes off for five days with only a single tweet on Tuesday. This is the type of people I hate most on Twitch, Ranboo is a prime example. These people just need to get the fuck off of the internet, and not ruin fandoms in general. 😤

Ranboo read it, and his breath hitched.
This guy was right, Ranboo was a bitch for not streaming daily, it was really just to cover up for his rapidly deteriorating mental health in the past few weeks.

He'd been postponing updating his status until that Tuesday, when he finally posted a tweet on Twitter saying he was taking a short break from Twitch and that he'd be back soon, in about a week.
But after seeing this tweet, Ranboo had other plans..

It had been proven time and time again that Ranboo wasn't meant to be a streamer with his stupid uninteresting personality and annoying ass mask and glasses, and today he was going to prove that he wasn't too much of a "pussy" as his friend Tommy would say, to take a step back in the opposite direction and end it all.

No, not his life. He wasn't ready for that yet.

A week ago he was oh so tempted to do it, but had accidentally found himself watching these documentaries and articles about suicide survivors being interviewed and questioned about their experience with wanting to end it all.
But in every single one of them, what they said was the same:

The incredible feeling of guilt, of regret that followed them jumping, taking the pills or whatever else they did to try and take their life overpowered the misery, the sadness they felt just moments before.
They would have felt a spark of hope, if it wasn't for them knowing they had just ended it all, that there was no going back.
There decision was here to stay.
But it wasn't.

They survived, and learned a valuable lesson from their actions.

Ranboo didn't like the idea of regret, which was currently the only thing holding him back from going through with it.

Maybe one day he will still do it though, if he felt even worse than now.

But for now, he knew what to do.

He opened up his Twitter profile, and got ready to make possibly his longest tweet he's ever made.

"
Hey guys, just wanted to make this tweet real quick before I disappear from the internet, so you know what's going on.

As you know, I haven't streamed in almost a week now, and that's because a lot of things are going on in my private life, and I'm finding it very hard to cope with them.