Unleashed Secrets

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Dear Journal,


This is not a dairy, or at least I refer too. Yet I keep wondering why people call it that way. Who came up with this thing called the dairy? Yes, yes people tease me for owning this journal and call me names and stuff but who do they think they are messing with? How would they know if I am or am not planning a way to get them back, maybe a prank? Yes.. that be nice, but I use this journal for a different reason. Keeps me out from the out sideworld. Like a fish in a bowl. I stay safe yet while I see the other side with out crossing it. Let's just say I am a "loner". Writing this jounal is the only thing I have left from the passed and I will keep it till the day I am gone.


So now you know, know why I keep it and write in it. It may be the feelings I am hidding or the fact that there may be something wrong with me. Either way this is my opening page and yet there is so much more to write. Well I guess there is probably going to be more interesting events to poor on you my journal and the things I have said so far are just another way to fall alseep at night. Whatever, I am not in the mood to write or talk about what happened last friday and will keep you updated to it tomorrow. To exhausted to move another muscle. Goodnight


- xoxo Lialac


Looking at the last paragraph I wrote I know I needed to add more. My mind was racing through the memories left behind, far away and closed in a case with a key. The dust felt salty on my lips. breathing it in and out. Lungs dry as a desert on the sun. I thought I had a third degery burn in my throat. But I can still breathe. You know that feeling that makes you think that you would do anything to get out of the situation that is causing you pain in the ass? Yes, that pain is a lot stronger when you are me. You start thinking you did kill to get what you need. Eliminate anyone who dares to stand in your way.


My name is Lialac and I live with no roof. My hands are covered in splinters and dead skin. My hair is light brown and hangs loose near my eyes. My eyes are filled black. My legs are burned and cut. My body is pale white as snow and I still wonder why do I even bother living. I have not always looked like that. I have had a good porshine of my life before this came along. Almong "others" I have lived in secret. Hidden by the dark of the day and light of the moon. People cross the street if they see me coming close. They lock all windows and doors when leaving their houses. I have suffered many years. Beatings everyday and laughter filled ears pointing at me. Poking me to death.


As I was saying I have a journal. I write in it regularly. It the only way I can talk, through my firy black eyes. My journal is special to me and I keep it safe. Hidden under the shabby floor in my "house".


* next day*


Gushing wing blowing through the broken windows made noises keeping me from falling alseep all night. My back spin felt like I was paralized for days. As I get up from my bank bed my legs start to waddle to the bathroom. My mind told me not to look. Not to look into the shaddered mirror. Not to see the reflextion, but I peeked. Red blue circles covered my eye lids. I could see the viens clearly through my thin skin. I put one of my hands on the mirror tracing the lining of my face. That face that no longer existed to me. Dead and gone. I needed some cold water splashing on my face I thought to my self. I turned on the water tap and diped my hands into the small mini waterfall. It felt to wet. Cold and cooling. The water washed the dirt of my face. I saw the black brown water slowly go down the pip. I looked around to find a towel that I can use to dry up. My eyes caute the attention of a cloth. I remember it. From somewhere, but I just know where from. My eyes opened up fast. My brain raced through. A wisper came out of my mouth flowing like a river. - I remember like it was just 5 minutes ago...

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