To New Beginnings

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A/N: Read the lastest chapter ' Your Love Is Killing Me'  of Band On The Run before proceeding.

*****

“They are a waste of personality, no matter how talented they may be in music.”

“So fucking inconsiderate! So what if they are ‘the shit’ right now?”

“This will surely ensure lots of criticism in my blog, I tell ya!”

 I swallowed another drink, letting the familiar burn sting my throat as I unsuccessfully try to drown these snobs. Open your eyes bitches, being late and breaking rules are the basics of the world of rock and roll. I mentally shout out to the snobs, not wanting to get into a fight so early in the night. Their name may be Red Riot but I’m pretty sure they will have a hell of a riot if they don’t come out soon. The worst begin to loudly comment on how they would rather have The Bends here. Oh, fuck off! They are even worse than Red Riot. You will probably die of a heart-attack during a hissy fit, you bastards.

Annoyingly, Jase’s mental voice rebukes my continuous usage of profanity. Really a bad move, subconscious self. Remember that drunk Jason incident? Puzzlingly, the voice now changes to Pat. I cannot help a chuckle as I respond. Got me there. I’ve nothing wrong in terms of cursing from slut, unless you remember that the walls are thin?

“You find me amusing, buddy?” My mind must have had an amazing comeback – it has to since it’s mine – but I’m snapped out of it when one of the snobs turns around and looks at me from head to toe and back and the annoyed expression turns into angry. Yeah, think that the fat guy won’t fight back. From the way she’s glaring at me, there’s no way she doesn’t have a prick here for her. Bring him on, girl. I will show him exactly what made me send the three dumbasses of last night to the hospital’s ER.

My mind tries to remind me of the slight bruising I still have but I can’t help but provoke her. “I wasn’t laughing at you, miss. But now that you did try to break the ice, I just have to tell you that you are a bitchy snob who has no respect for the world of rock and roll.” I take extra care to make the ‘just have to’ part sound whiny. I momentarily doubt if I went overboard and then realize I probably did. But does it matter? No.

On stage, the average-sounding band’s performing and I notice people slowly slipping away. If you want to hear them so much that your eyes are glued to the stage, then what the fuck are you doing backing out the door? There would probably have been more but my attention is snatched back by the girl at the end of her sentence. “- do you think you are?” She finished. Good job on getting her whiny voice right, my mind complements me.

I do a small fake bow and answer with a large fake smile. “Since you asked me so nicely, dearie, I will have you know that I’m Adrian Scholn. You know, of the band Scholn?” Her eyes go momentarily wide as she recognizes me and I’m kind of surprised myself. No shit, they’ve heard of us here? Considering that our first show in New York is tomorrow, this is a pretty big feat. Though having a snob recognize us kind of deflates the pride.

She looks me down again and I can actually feel as she takes note of my clothes. The black leather jacket and the tan tee don’t even try to hide the small bulge at the stomach and nor do the faded cut navy jeans hide the way the thighs look fatty. I see her smirk and instantly know she’s going to make a fat joke. “Girl, you’ve already made it clear you are one snobby bitch. Don’t make it fun for me to add more to that.”

It is words like these that drove Lisa away.My mind points out and I instantly sober up. I am not drunk enough to go down that road.  What’s the difference? My mind asks. All the things we promise ourselves, of living clean, of not drowning ourselves in the bottle, of always treading the high moral grounds… aren’t they all lies we tell? Isn’t Jase right now with some stranger, enjoying such a high dose of X that he’ll be depressed for days once he sobers up? Isn’t Pat lying in some ditch right now with used needles and dirty pills strewn around him? We all tell lies but here you are, drowning yourself in the bottle when you promised to stay clean? Are promises words of lies we tell to soothe the foolish heart? Are they the first sin, cementing our path on the road of damnation? We shall all burn together in hell, haunted by the condemnation of our younger pasts. And so the people will cry blood and the end of the world come to pass.

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