The Light's Dark

Part 16

XiChen kept a close watch on Wei Ying the rest of the dinner. How he leaned into Wangji when he was tired, his eyes fluttering slightly closed before he fell limp into the elder. He noticed how Wangji did not question it, did not say anything against it, instead simply shuffling slightly to easily accommodate his weight and instead simply continued eating. XiChen smiled, but hesitated to address it. What if he thinks that I am scolding him, instead of amused? Out of the two Jades, XiChen was far more capable when it came to social interactions and his words, but sometimes...sometimes he felt himself at a loss of how to say something, or whether he should say it. Wangji never bothered too much with how he would be expressed, unless it came to Wei Ying, something which Xichen had noticed since the boy had come to the Cloud Recesses, but XiChen? There were points in time where he was almost certain that his brother had misunderstood him, and yet he felt at a loss, more often than not, at how to address it.

"Wangji," XiChen softly uttered, not wanting to startle Wei Ying, who was clearly asleep against his younger brother. It was definitely a sight to see. Wangji glanced at him, but did not say anything, waiting for XiChen to explain what he wanted. XiChen glanced at where Wei Ying was leaning on his shoulder and tilted his head to the side, asking for a reason.

"Is tired," Was all that was said, and XiChen should not, but he felt a surge of fondness, not just for his little brother, but also for Wei Ying.

"Yes, I am aware, is there any particular reason as to why?" He ventured to ask. It was because he was paying attention so closely that he noticed a slightly worried edge hint into his eyes. "Wangji, please rest assured, I do not mean any harm to you, nor to Childe Wei. I simply am worried, and I wish to help, if I can and am able. I do not mean any harm on either case, I was just wondering if there was anything wrong, and if perhaps I could figure out a way to help." Wangji seemed to relax slightly at that. XiChen inwardly sighed. Just how could his little brother think that he meant to hurt him? Or Wei WuXian? He decided not to dwell on it too much. There was not really any way to answer such a thing without dwelling on bad things, and that he would really prefer to avoid if at all possible.

"Does not like to sleep," Wangji whispered softly. "Is scared that the nightmares will take him again." XiChen almost panicked at seeing Wangji about ready to cry. He inhaled sharply, not really knowing what to do to help his little brother. "I play Clarity every night until he falls asleep, but..." XiChen did not think that he would like the upcoming information. Well, he already did not like the information that Wei Ying was so scared that he could not even fall asleep unless bribed to by Clarity, but the way that Wangji seemed to hesitate on speaking further made him worried about what it was that he was going to say. He bit his tongue, not wanting to scare Wangji before he spoke what it was on his mind.

"Didi, I am not going to get mad, you can continue. Please, I want to know if there is anything that I can do to help, how can I do that if I do not know what exactly is wrong? Wangji, I will not judge you for anything you say here. I will neither tell Uncle, or the elders. Please." XiChen practically begged Wangji. The roles so drastically reversed it was rather surprising. He did not want to think about how Wangji used to beg him to tell him what was wrong when they were younger. Then, given XiChen's unique ability to read his brother rather well, he had never really had to worry about not getting the information from his facial expressions, but it would seem that Wei Ying had changed quite a few things upon entering the Cloud Recesses, and XiChen was not sure how fond of it he was, but as long as Wangji was not frought in worry he supposed he could let everything slide. Should he not be able to have Wei Ying in Gusu, he knew that was one thing that would cause him endless worry. He did not know what to think about that information.

"He cannot sleep without me besides him." Wangji whispered, as though afraid XiChen would judge him for it.

He should. He should be angry, upset, but he was not. He had seen, before this, Wangji being the only one capable of calming Wei Ying, he had seen the way Wangji and Wei Ying clung to each other desperately, afraid that the other would disappear. He had seen Wei Ying manage to get Wangji to react to things that prior he would have never expected the same reaction from. How Wangji lit up when Wei Ying was around, how much Wei Ying managed to drag his little brother out of his shell and he found that he could not be angry.

Wei Ying coming to the Cloud Recesses was both the best and worst thing in the world. He was giving uncle nightmares, but he was helping Wangji. Perhaps XiChen should curse himself but he found that he truly did not care how much trouble he or Uncle were given because of the young teenager in red and black as long as Wangji was happy and calm. As long as Wangji was able to find at least a little bit of happiness, XiChen would sacrifice everything, and everything else. It was not a good thought, but it was the one in the way. So yes, he should be mad...but...He could not bear to bring himself to get angry. 

Not when he knew that they were helplessly in love with each other. Even if neither of them was entirely aware of it yet.