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Author's Note: First off holy crap 867 reads...I don't know how to feel this makes me so happy, I LOVE ALL OF YOU! Also here's an update written by my friend Maria and edited by me. I don't if this is a head cannon or short story or preference. So I hope you like whatever it's called. Also this is post Civil War. And sorry for the feels ahead of time. Also there will be mentions of thoughts and ways to commit suicide so if you don't like any of that then don't read this.

Bucky was dreaming about the the war and calling out to Steve. Then he woke up, panting in a cold and empty apartment. He tries to call out to Steve, but realizes after the name escapes his mouth that Steve is no longer with him. He's dead and he's never coming back. He was there and breathing and then he just wasn't. What follows is as painful as ever to think about; as he hugs his knees close to his person while sobbing and whispering either, "You said you'd be with me until the end of the line punk," and Steve's name in between each one that escapes his throat and slips through his lips. This happens every night, he hasn't had a proper nights sleep in months. His body showed it too with the dark bags under his eyes. He just wanted this to stop and have Steve with him, he had thought so many times of taking a handful of pills, cutting his wrists, putting a gun in his mouth, maybe go old school with a rope, or even jumping off a tall building or bridge. Every time he seemed to be on the verge of going through with the ideas, he thinks about Steve and how he wouldn't have wanted him to do any of those things. He would have wanted him to continue on for him and keep living. He though a world without Steve was a living hell itself but he kept going on and living for Steve...always for Steve.

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