I sat back on the couch chewing my nails , which has now become an unnoticeable habit . Usually I'd be on my phone or talking with staff but today I'm too lost in my thoughts .
Today , is my birthday .. yet I'm sitting here at practice with Renjun .. he actually hasn't said anything to me today besides earlier when he asked where his gray jacket was . I don't know why I was expecting a happy birthday or whatever from him because we don't even communicate anymore .. we both go to work and come home to sleep in different rooms .
I remember when we first moved together we were inseparable . Guess that was just the honeymoon faze the older people talk about . We walk past each other like complete strangers .. it's simply because we don't have the time for each other .. because I damn sure still love him .. more than life itself .
I mean I make the effort for our relationship . I take days off to be with him and he just goes to work , I try initiating conversation and he just hums simple responses , we haven't had sex in about 10 months and on our anniversary he was doing a fan sign .. when he came home he was so exhausted that he didn't even acknowledge my presence , or the fully set table of food and candles .
It feels like I'm the only person that still loves the other .. this pain actually makes me feel like shit every day .. I'm tired . I stood up from my seat and grabbed my keys and phone charger making my way out of the building and into my car .. tears started to fall and I was so numb to it that I hadn't even noticed . I felt a twinge in my chest as if my heart had been pierced by a tiny needle .. it's officially time to start letting go .
✧༺✦✮✦༻∞ ∞༺✦✮✦༻✧
Renjun 🧑🏻🎤
I was struggling to get the moves right which left me irritated and out of breath . My head felt tight and my throat ran dry from constant heavy breathing and heaving .
