~Part 12~

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I walked over to the lite up room. I placed my hand on the tan colored door. I remember the time they put this door in because I broke the first one by riding my bike inside. I was so little. I didn't know better.
It looked just like the day we painted it. It was smooth. like it was brand new. I looked over to their bed. I found Michael. Sitting on the bed looking at a picture in his hands.
I lean against the wall and stood there watching him.
"You looked so happy." Michael tried to say but it came out in a crack.
I walked over to the bed and sat next to him.
It was our family photo. The last one we ever took.
"Yeah. I was a happy child. And to think that was only 3 years ago." I smiled then shuck my head. I took the framed photo.
"We took this on family day. Jordan and I were both off from school. My parents were off from work too. we decided to go and get our picture taken because it was half off." I laughed. It came out more as a happy puff.
"My dad had his hair cut. My mom did my hair. Jordan finally washed his hair after months of not doing it." We both laughed.
I looked at my parents. Both smiling and having a great time. Us being a family.
I placed it back on the night stand were it belonged. I aligned it with the dust line it had created on the table.
I stared at it.
"If you stare at it long enough, it looks like we were pretending." I admitted it.
Michael looked at me. I looked at my hands fiddling in my lap.
"We haven't been in here ever since the funeral." I looked around the room. I saw the bookshelf full of books my mom use to read to Jordan and I before bed. I saw dads baseball cap collection on two long shelves. A single dresser my parents shared at one point. Then at the bed I was sitting on. To think that my parents were separated, my mom sure had a lot of his stuff here.
"Liz. We can leave the room if you want." he suggested.
I broke my gaze upon the pillows my mom and dad once laid on.
"Actually. Do you mind giving me a few minutes, alone." I didn't leave his eyes.
"Yeah. Sure. I'll be on the couch." He got up. Flatten the area he sat on. Stopped at the door and looked at me. My eyes didn't leave him. I smiled to signal the ok. He smiled back and walked out shutting the door gently.
I took a deep breath in and out.
I got up walked over to the dresser where a whole bunch of photo frames with old pictures in them. A few of Jordan but majority of me. A variety of photos. Pictures of me swimming, of me at my talent school, also my favorite, when I tried to eat ice cream for the first time. I chuckled at the silly pictures of me.
I opened my mom drawer of the dresser. Her clothes were nearly folded and divided evenly. I picked up a shirt and smelt it. It smelt like her usual peppermint and vanilla self. I put it back as if I never touched it then went down to my dads drawer. His clothes were folded neatly but not as organized. I picked up one of his overly sized grey shirts that he wore all the time and smelt the one. It was a mixture of mint and hazelnut. It was mighty strong but it was good because I loved it the most about him.
I threw it onto the bed and shut the drawer.
I walked over to my moms bookshelf. Glanced at ever binding with different fonts of different titles. I dragged my fingers along the beautiful bindings of the color coordinated books and stopped at a yellow one. I pulled out the thin book and read the cover.
"Penny loves Pickles"
This is a book my mom read do me all the time. It was about a little girl who loved pickles. She are them all the time but one dad her mother told her that she was becoming a pickle. My mom use to read it to us probably 3 times before we would fall asleep. She would act out the words. It was a really fun time with her around. She made everything seem important.
I walked back over to the bed where my dads shirt laid and placed the book next to it.
I then walked back to the dresser but above it was my dads cap collection.
I picked up one specific base ball cap.
It was the cap from a Yankees game. It was also the first place my parents met. It was worn out caused but the light and from my parents constantly wearing it. On the inside was something my mom wrote. It was faded but I could still see what it said.
"Best Baseball Game Ever!"
I slipped the hat over my head. I walked back to the bed. I slipped dads old t-shirt over my head and let it reach my knees. My dad was a tall man.
I picked up the book and walked over to the far corner where no one can see me and sat on the floor.
I opened the book.
"Penny Loves Pickles. She ate them everyday. She ate them for Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner. She ate a jar a day.
But one day, Penny's mom told her she was becoming a pickle. "sweetly your shin is green." she said with concern.
Penny was scared. She ran to her room and looked in the mirror. She was green all over.
"Oh boy." she said.
The next day she went to school.
"Bye sweety." her mother said.
"No momma. Don't go. I'm green like a pickle."
Penny was sad.
Her mother had an idea.
"Darling the green is fading."
I looked in the mirror and the green was fading.
"Oh joy!"
Penny was happy.
Penny was normal again.
"Thanks momma. No more Pickles for me."

When Penny came home and went straight to her mother.
"Momma look! I ate a carrot and now I'm orange!"
He mother laughed.
"Oh boy."

I hold the book to my chest. A tear runs down my cheek. I close my eyes.
"Mommy, Daddy. hi. I miss you guys. I miss all the fun times we had. like when Jordan chased the dog around the yard because he took his shoe."
I laugh. More tears come down.
"Yeah. the times. Oh and the time Randy, our cat. jumped onto daddy's lap and he was sleeping so he jumped higher then the cat."
I stopped and held the book tighter.
"Why did you guys split up?
We had everything but you guys had to out of no where separate. Then daddy died a year after that. then mommy died 2 months after that. Why. Why did you guys leave us. All alone. On our own."
I was crying now.
"Why did you guys take your lives away?! Why?!!?" I screamed.
"Liz. You okay?" I hear Michael yell.
"Um yeah." I answered. I realized the door was unlocked. I ran over and locked it. I was still crying. I guess he heard because I heard foot steps.
I walked back to the corner I was in.
"So why did you guys leave us. All alone." I yelled.
"Mom!! Dad!!"
I fell onto the floor, onto my knees.
"Why!!!" I screamed.
There was banging on the door but I ignored it.
"I miss you guys too much."
I slip my hand under the bed.
I felt so weak.
"I love you guys." I pull out a sharp knife.
"Now I'm going to see you again!!"

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