Chapter 23

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Chapter 23

Tris' POV:

"Tris? Tris, wake up, I'm home," I hear somebody say. Tobias. I'd know his voice anywhere.

I slowly peel my eyes open and take a deep breath, stretching.

"Hey," I say.

"Hi. Are you ok?"

"Yeah, why?" I ask.

"It looks like you've been crying," he looks at me with concern.

"Oh," I feel the dried tears on my face. "It's nothing, I'm fine."

"No more secrets."

I sigh, "Christina made me upset that's all."

"What'd she say?"

"Well she asked if we could watch the twins tomorrow, and then I told Kenna she'd go to Aunt Tris and Uncle Four's house tomorrow--"

"Aunt and Uncle?" He asks just like Uri. "I like it."

I smile and continue, "Chris said she liked the Aunt and Uncle thing, and then she said that whenever we had kids they could call them Aunt Christina and Uncle Uri."

"Oh. What'd you say to her after that?" He asks.

"I said that I'd love for her to be an 'Aunt' but I didn't know if that was ever going to happen," I look down, avoiding eye contact.

"Tris, I want more kids. I wanna try for another baby," he says out of the blue.

"Tobias," I start to cry a little bit. "I-I don't know if I can give you any children. I'm sorry, I want them too. I really do."

"Tris," he takes my hands, "if you really want kids, then you would do whatever it takes. Why don't you want to try?"

"Because if I get pregnant and we lose another baby, I wouldn't be able to live with myself," I tell him.

"But Tris, what if the baby made it? What if we actually got a child?"

"Tobias I don't want to risk it. I know you really want a baby. I'm so sorry," I cry.

His eyes are wet with tears. I just broke his heart.

"Can we just try one more time? Just once? That's all I'm asking," he pleads.

"Let me think about it. I'll tell you in the morning," I say, wiping my face and walking to the bedroom.

Before I close the door I look at him.

He's sitting there staring blankly at the wall with tears rolling down his cheeks.

I feel terrible. How could I do this to him?

<><><>

I try to sleep but I'm restless. I don't know what to do!

At some point during the night I feel the bed dip, and arms snake around my waist.

He thinks I'm asleep. I feel small tears fall into my hair and some on my forehead. He gently wipes them away, trying not to 'wake' me.

I'm not facing him, so I pretend to turn over in my sleep and snuggle into him. He moves his arms so he can pull me against him. I feel a kiss on my head, and then he falls asleep.

I feel so guilty. He's never really asked me for anything and I can't give him what he wants.

I sigh, and try to fall asleep, but nothing seems to be working.

I move my hand up and run my fingers through his hair. His eyes flutter open.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up," I apologize.

"I wasn't asleep yet," he tells me.

"You know I love you, right?" I ask.

"I know. I love you too," he looks deeply into my eyes.

I wrap my arms around him, and close my eyes.

Finally sleep takes over.

<><><>

When I wake up the next morning Tobias' arms are still around me, holding me close.

I look up at him and see he's still sleeping. Good.

I had another nightmare last night about being pregnant and losing another baby. I remember jolting awake and Tobias stirring a bit, but he stayed asleep.

After about ten minutes his eyes slowly open. He sees me looking at him and smiles.

"Like what you see?"

I nod and smile back. He smirks.

I can tell he's waiting for an answer from me. About trying for another baby. I remember how devastated he was when I said I might not want to try for another child. I made him cry. He rarely ever cries.

I felt terrible. Awful. How could I do that to him?

"Yes."

"Yes what?" He asks, confused.

"We-we can try for another baby," I say, looking down.

"Really?" I can hear the happiness in his voice.

I nod, still not looking at him.

"Tris," he lifts my chin so I'm looking at him. He has the biggest smile on his face. "Really?" He repeats in disbelief.

I nod once again. His smile grows.

"I love you. So much," he tells me.

"I love you too."

He kisses me passionately.

"Thank you," he says after pulling away. "I know this is hard, but I'll be here for you."

"We don't even know if I'll get pregnant Tobias."

"I know," he says, "but at least your willing to try."

I give him a small smile.

"We have to watch Kenna and Jax today," I tell him.

"Ok."

I get up so I can start getting ready. Tobias gets up as well.

He hugs me from behind and kisses the top of my head.

Then he whispers, "Thank you so much."

<><><>

A/N: Omg this is the 4th time I've been sick in 2 weeks. Idk what's wrong with me.

I really enjoyed writing this chapter. I'm actually kind of proud of it.

QOTD: How many times have you seen Insurgent?

AOTD: Only 1 time. 😭

Be brave. <4

-🔥Hailee🔥

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