*there is a lot of blood and gore in this update and some very mature parts in this like it gets quite dark*
I was putting my heart in a cage and throwing away the key. Never again, am I going to start developing a sense of trust or compassion for a boy. Harry was a sick, twisted soul who felt pleasure from my loneliness. There was only one word to describe Harry- and it was Schadenfreude.
I'm a pacifist. I'm a pacifist. I'm a pacifist.
I felt used, but shouldn't I have felt that all along? Harry Styles had taken advantage of my body and left me bare and defenceless. I can't believe I trusted him, I can't believe I didn't see through his lies. Why on earth did I think that I was the only girl he wanted?
I wanted to understand him so badly, but he shut me out. He shut me out with his carelessness and now I was shut out completely. But I was sad and happy at the same time. I was sad that we were like strangers again, but with a more reasonable understanding for our hatred. And I was happy because I wasn't letting him anywhere near me again. I felt free.
My crying had stopped after a few hours, thankfully. I was left helplessly in my bed, so I needed to help myself. What Harry taught me was that I had to stop being so dependant on someone to change my life. I had to change it myself. And... If that meant emotionally blocking him out of my life, then I was ready to make that happen.
Harry may have shut me out, but I was shutting him out right back.
I grabbed everything that he bought me. My underwear, my dress, the toys... I didn't want them, I never did. I shoved them carelessly into a black bag and marched freely outside, where I threw it in the trash.
Harry was nothing to me anymore.
I watched a movie in my room as I took my mind someplace else. I escaped reality and found myself watching the 1986 movie 'The Hitcher'. It was my favourite movie, I loved blood and gore.
I was getting to the end of the movie when the front door was heard from downstairs. It burst open instantaneously, causing me to shiver in scare as there were immediate footsteps trudging upstairs. They were marching to my room, so I threw my blanket over my body and closed my eyes.
My door swung open and I fell silent, trying to keep my breaths under control as Harry's exhales were strongly forming. "H-Harley."
I didn't answer.
He ran forward and knelt onto my mattress, where he endlessly searched for me. "Harley, wake up!"
He pulled the blanket off me swiftly and his quivering hands shook my by my frail shoulders. "Harley, please!"
I sat up angrily and pushed his body away from mine. "Get out!"
My eyes widened in dismay as I gazed at his panicked state. His pupils were dilated and his pale jaw was trembling as he harshly fisted his damp hair. "You have to help me-"
"Go away." I instructed, but he bit his bottom lip in frustration so hard that it bled. He wiped away the blood which dropped like rain, and squirmed in anxiousness.
"Please," He cried and fisted my clothing as I tried my hardest to push him away. "Please!"
"Go to sleep."
"They're after me," He sank his head into his shaking hands. "They're eating my insides."
My heart stopped at his sinister confession. "Harry?"
He sickly heaved and knelt forward before letting out an ear-deafening screech in pain. His cold, innocent hands fiercely clawed at his black shirt so strongly that he tore it from his pale body. "Help me!"
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Call Boy. (Harry Styles Fan Fiction) on holdFanfiction
Harley Thomas; an anxiously wrecked Christian who thrives on judging those who sin. Harry Styles; an emotionally wrecked Atheist who thrives on sinning.