17.

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Before we start with the chapter I would like all of you to read the previous one to get in touch with the rhythm of the story or else it would go over the head.
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.SHEHNAAZ.

"I need to ask you something sweetheart", Sidharth spoke and I looked up at him from his chest, making him aware I'm listening, it's been a month after rakhi, Ashu and Nidhi have gone back and Sidharth and me have been more than comfortable with each other without pointing out what we share. We would share most of our free time together just like now, it's 11 in the night and Aahnik and Aadia have retired to bed and Sanchi has night shift today so it's just "us" on the terrace with stars and the moon, the light breeze acting as a extra add on, his arms wrapped around me, a blanket covering us to keep us protected from the cold up here, my head on his chest because his heartbeats has turned out to be the sukoon I missed these years, the happiness I craved for, filmy maybe but my reality, Sidharth has turned out to be the soul mate I craved for, not romanticizing but he has, someone who could hear me out for hours and would still not judge me, someone who would let me take out all that's been stored in me without any complaints, that someone I wanted Vedant to be at a point of my life but he left me when I actually needed him beside me the most, not comparing because Sidharth and Vedant has no comparison but comparisons are what comes in a subconscious state in our brains right, I had no control over them or so I thought , no we haven't taken a step yet to decide what we share yet we knew it's something beyond words, we don't live under the same roof but we are mostly besides each other, well because Aahnik and Aadia wants to stay with each other most of the times, we both have to actually manage them or rather convince them for staying separately not because we had a problem in them staying with each other but because we both couldn't take the society pointing a finger at them, the society I never cared about ever but this wasn't me, this was our children involved in here, most of the times because that's the reality, Sunday is suppose to be their day and their rules, as imposed by Aahnik and I like a doting mother has to agree to it, weird right but this is how my relation with Aahnik is, nothing normal, I can get the world at his feet for his happiness this was just him being with Aadia, with whom over these three months he had developed a very protective bond and I was overwhelmed with the care they both shower on the other one.

Aahnik and You, how....... He mumbled as if repeating it in his heart but I heard it as it brought me back from my own thoughts.

Huh? I asked amused, he never brought this topic out but if he is doing it right now then I need to know what he's upto.

Don't get me wrong, I too have a daughter and that too without a wife, I know if you want to be a parent not necessarily you should have a partner too and trust me I am way to protective about her, anyone questioning about her existence I know I could destroy the whole place then and there so don't please don't think of it other wise, he spoke and I nodded absorbing his words through my mind but I chose to stay silent till the time he completes what he wanted to say no matter how important he has suddenly been for me, but what I have with Aahnik is something that could never be explained, a part of my life that kept me hooked to keep going, he has gradually been a ray of hope in my otherwise dull life but also the most depressing part of my life, the part that bruised my soul, the part that made me what I'm today, the silent bruised Shehnaaz from a bubbly chirping one, the incident that left me hating the word "LOVE", the reason I don't want to give a name to the relation I share with Sidharth.

Shehnaaz there's no pressure alright, because I can actually understand what are you going through, I have been through something similar if not same kisiki life same nhi hoti na, I know how difficult at times it is but zindagi hain na can't give up, he spoke when I looked at him, he was staring at a distant but his voice it held the pain he went through. I wanted to wrap this 6 feet lamba chauda aadmi in my small 5 feet 4 inch form, a height difference I cherished about a lot, I could hug him and listen to his heart beats at the same time, my favorite hobby nowadays without me acknowledging it, why complicate.

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