Chapter 2: I like one-up-man-ship, but only when I win...

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Chapter 2 I like one-up-man-ship, but only when I win...

I got inside and stuck the kettle on. Tea tea tea... must brew tea...

“ah good, the kettle’s on,” said my granddad as he walked into the kitchen. Change that, step-granddad... I'm not going to explain.

“yup, tea?” I turned around and smiled at him.

“wouldn’t mind one..”

“make it yourself.”

“I'm getting old and frail...” he slouched over and started imitating an old person.

I laughed at him and stuck a teabag in a cup, “yeah, says the guy who cleans windows on the weekends and spends the rest of the week in a tile warehouse!”

He laughed, “got to keep you grandmother happy.”

“yeah yeah.” I got another cup out for him and then we stood in silence waiting for the kettle. I couldn’t stop thinking about Matt. I was in the right wasn’t I? I mean, seriously, what kind of woman puts up with doing all the work?

“kev?” I turned around to my granddad, I always call him by the first name.

“yes nat?” he said in his constant chirpy voice. Always reminded me of those in the middle of the countryside I'm slightly common sort of voices... which, I guess is because that’s where he’s from... god I'm an idiot...

“you know Matt?”

He turned towards me and by the look on his face I felt slightly comforted... that feeling was quickly destroyed.

“you mean the reason I'm going to win this bet?” an old man with an evil grin is not pleasant... especially when you know he can be evil. So my grandfather and I have had a bet gong since I was about 13, the bet was that I would be married by the time I was 19... I know right? Like I could ever let that happen....

“not anymore...” I grinned back. What? I have to act like it doesn’t really matter otherwise he’ll make fun of me!!

“aww and I was so looking forward to the money, I was going to use it as a down payment on my new car..” I was my turn to grin evilly...

“aww well, Kev, I don’t think you can afford the car anymore, what with the amount that you’ll be dishing out next month!” I gave him one last grin as his face fell... oh yeah... that’s one up man ship right there.... just some advice.. don’t ever bet with a sadist... or me for that matter...

I raced upstairs and switched on my laptop. I didn’t feel bad about Kev, why should I? We’ve been around each other long enough to take a joke... plus he’s so short it goes right over his head...

I checked my facebook, a few friends requests but nothing much new... I mean seriously, do I really need to be updated on what people do every ten minutes of their lives? Nope... i switched on the tv... oh well.. this night is going to be boring...


I woke up to the sound of my phone going off... shit, what time is it? I moved my hand under my pillow and finally grabbed my phone... its not really the sound it makes but more the vibrations reaching me through the pillow. Ahh... 6:30 in the morning... need to get up... no energy... the light suddenly flickers on.

“Nat! Get up now! Get ready we have to leave or you’re going to make me late for work!” shouted my mum.

“argh...” which is about as coherent as I can really be at six in the morning.

“GET UP!” she shouted again. You would really think that she would have come up with a better method then that...  grudgingly I shoved back the covers and made my way towards the bathroom with my to do list running through my head... starting with:

1: wash.

2: Make coffee

3: Get Dressed.

4: Clean teeth

5: put on make-up so that I actually look human.

6: possibly eat if it doesn’t take too much time.

7: get in car before mother dearest...

Unfortunately I made it to about 5 before she started shouting again. You would really think that I would fight back, wouldn’t you? But this is my mum and she’s always like this. The only part where I throw a fit is when she’s trying to manipulate me, and yes, I CAN tell when she’s doing it, because I know her so well. Hey, just imagine witnessing your mum lying and cheating throughout your entire childhood, that should put things into perspective.

I got into the car and waited. She took so long that I’d managed to eat my toast in the car before she reached it; tasks six and seven done!

She got in and started up the car. We were nearing the bus station when she turned to me. “what time are you going to be home?”

I turned to her, hating the way she sounded so caring.”I’m not, I'm going to stay at dad’s for the weekend remember?”

“oh yeah,” I raised my eyebrow and hopped out of the car. Dense or what? She does this every time but I know she’s not dumb or forgetful... unless it’s on purpose. I turned to look at her, trying to stamp down my cynicism, “I’ll be back by Monday night but I’ll be a bit late because I’m going to meet up with Paddy before I come home.” Thank god for the miracle of drinking buddies!!

“ok baby,” said my mum smiling sweetly,” I’ll miss you but have fun!”

“I will mum,” I smiled back and slammed the door closed. As I watched her drive off I couldn’t help but feel she was planning something.

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