Diary 1

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Diary 1

Dear Diary, I have a crush on this boy name Ren. He is the definition of male beauty. I guess I always admired him from afar. He was two years younger than me, and that already made me feel hesitant to approach him.

I made nothing out of my crush until that one eventful night when I had a dream of him. It was a strange dream. I basically dreamt of a kid that I didn't know personally. At the time I didn't even know his name or how his voice sounded like.

I bet he sounds sexy.

In my dream, he saved me from a gang of mad men. These men tried to rob me, and beat me to my grave, but he takes my hand, and saves me. My superman. My super Ren.

I would share my bizarre dream with my friends, and they would laugh at me saying I was madly in love, and that me, and Ren would make a cute couple.

I am a odd girl. I stood out because of my pink hair. I wanted to be remembered as someone who took a chance to stand out then hide in the shadows like those shy motherfuckers.

What pisses me off more is the fact that those shy motherfuckers would complain about how lonely they are, how they wish to be popular. Well, work on your appearance then sob over yourself. I despise people that complain on how ugly they are, yet don't even try to look decent like others.

Sorry for my rant. This is just typical me with a bad attitude. No wonder no guys pay attention to me. My lack of smiling adds to the tension.

Anyways my world changed when I met Mai. I though that it would change when I spoke to Ren, but no. Ren is simply a boy. I didn't care much for dense boys like him.

Mai was the answer.

Mai, a blue haired rebel that didn't care what people thought. She was openly gay, and was extremely proud of her sexuality.

"Men are disgusting. All they want to do is stick their dick in everything they see. They degrade women, and expect women to follow every rule they throw at our faces. Men are disgusting, and worthless." I would hear her sexist speeches during lunch. I applaud her for speaking her mind. Many boys hated her, and I could see why.

But that is what made me like her. Ever since I met her, I never notice men anymore. Men can't do anything for me. All they have is a dick. I didn't need that. I needed a girl that knows how to satisfy another girl. That girl is Mai.

Mai is my sex goddess. Scratch that. I want her to be my sex goddess, and my girlfriend. She is too intimidating though. Way too much.


How I met Mai.....it was a while ago, but I still remember everything crystal clear. She didn't go to my school when I first met her. She went to another school nearby. I knew she was a lesbian. Maybe because of her short blue hair, and the fact that she always had a girl around her arm. She was a pimp.


"Ayumi you gonna eat that?" Hiyori pointed to my bento box.

I pushed it to her. "Take it."

"Thanks. You are a lifesaver. My mom forgot to pack mine. I hate that stupid new boyfriend of hers. Probably only using my mom for sex."

I blew out a sigh. "Again?" I said.

"Yes. My mom is so stupid sometimes. I just want to move out."

"We are only fifteen. We are still trapped until we become eighteen."

Hiyori stuffed a sushi piece in her mouth, and had a scrunched up face. "Hot hot hot wasabi!" She fans her mouth.

"Haha I love spicy things."

"Then go for a Mexican!" She starts joking.

"Gross no...I am strictly biased towards Asians." I knew my limited taste in men will make me be hated, but who the hell cares?

"Luckily we live in Japan where sexy ass Japanese dudes linger."

"Too bad they all suck." I dropped my head to the table.

"That's because you are picky as hell."

"I guess so." I packed my things up. "Hurry up with my bento box. I need to get to class or the teacher will give me a bitch fit."

"Yeah yeah okay bitch." She finishes the lunch, and shoves it at me.

People assume that I see Hiyori as my best friend, but I couldn't stand her sometimes. She was one of those popular girls that talked smack about everyone. I was just lucky enough to not be one of those losers that she picked on.

I took my bento box, and left the lunch room. I saw outside was a crowd full of people, and I decided to go take a peek before I head off to class.

I saw rainbow banners, and t-shirts with rainbow designs on it. "How gay." I muttered to myself.

I noticed it was a gay pride parade thing. It was coming up during the weekend. I guess the spread of gay love has been roaming around. It is cool, and all, but people get way too hype, and that was plain annoying.

I went off to class ignoring the commotion outside. It could be heard even in my classroom. So many chants, and songs. It made me sick.


I walked home after another dreadful day of high school. Don't get me wrong, I love high school for my friends, but not anything else. I could care less for an education. I felt I just went because I had to.

The streets were busy since this weekend was that parade. I saw a bunch of kids from other schools wearing the buttons made specifically for that day. I sighed. Why are they so hype? I don't see how coming out as gay is a huge accomplishment. I guess in my brain, being gay, and being straight is the same thing. Maybe one is less popular, but the viral coming out things on YouTube just annoys me. I will not be attending such a parade.

I waited as the street light went green. I started walking across the street until someone caught my eye. A girl with short blue hair. She had a girl linked on her arm. I didn't pay much attention to the girl on her arm, but on her only. She stood out.

When we crossed each other on the street, our eyes met. I couldn't avert my eyes from her bright blue eyes, and hair.

I finally got across, and went to turn my head to have one final glance at the blue hair girl, but she was gone.

This was a day I wouldn't forget. Ever.

To Be Continued

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