Innocent Rose-- Jon Bon Jovi Fanfic

Bad Shape

"We'll just do both shows today..." The whole band looks ashen faced at my suggestion but we really don't have any other choice "Are you sure about that Jon?". "Yeah... we'll be fine... just put a bar up on stage... as long as we have alcohol... we'll be alright" Richie and Dave look at each other then back at me "Kidd you never drink during a show". "Richie we're gonna need it this time... there's no way I'm steppin foot on that stage without some alcohol to keep me goin" They all exhale shaky deep breaths in hopes of conjuring up a tiny bit of strength. I think we are all so drained of energy and any kind of positive attitude by this point, we're all just trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel. 

We're all busy getting dressed for the first show. All the guys crammed into the same dressing room while I'm in the bathroom, staring at my tired reflection. I can see he's screaming for sleep, for rest, anything but to get up on that stage today. It's as if I'm staring at a completely different guy to the one who started this tour, that's exactly how it feels, like all the life, energy and passion has been sucked out of me. Everything I loved about touring and making music has been taken away from us by the record company and the management and I'm getting sick of it. I desperately want to get rid of them all, I just need to bide my time. I sigh deep and swing the door open, taking a few steps towards the guys "Alright... let's do this... anyone want a drink... I'm makin em". 

We're heading towards the stage, all of us in a line, looking like we're walking to the gallows. I never want to go on stage before a show, I always just want to run away but once I'm on the stage, a whole other rush of emotions fills me up and it feels great. My heart lights up a little when I see Chrissie sitting in the hall, waiting patiently with a smile on her face. I smile softly and reach out my hand for her "You comin to watch the show babe?". She swiftly nods in excitement, giving my fingers a tender rub before I disappear out the door, into the unknown. I have no idea how this show is going to go or what will even happen after this but one thing I know for sure, I will always remember this show as being the worst ever.  

. . .

We're currently on the jet to destination anywhere after an exhausting tour. My eyes have been staring out the window for ages now and my lips, so tired from singing, haven't uttered a single word. My soul feels weary and withered to the bone that it's going to take a while to get back to normal, my heart feels like it's cracking in half. We've been on the road, constantly moving from one place to the next for nearly 10 years and it's all came to this. 

"Jon... where are we going?" Chrissie's sweet voice tears me from my melancholy trance out the window "Hmm?". "Where are we going? why aren't the guys here?" I sigh deep and wrap my arm round her, pulling her in for a warm embrace "It's over.... I'm done... We're goin to Malibu". I can tell she has more questions and even more on her mind but for now, she thankfully remains silent, most likely sensing my mental anguish. 

After a quiet flight, we're finally at our home in Malibu, lazing in bed with Chrissie's naked body draped over me like a blanket. My fingers trail up and down her spine and it's acting as a sweet distraction from my unsettled thoughts. Her light snoozes and coos are music to my ears, so soothing and calming in a time of stress. She sniffles up and twitches awake when I unconsciously move my leg "Huh? what? did I... fall asleep?". "Yeah.... go back to sleep if you want?" She smiles softly up at me, blinking her heavy lids a few times "Are you okay? you've been real quiet Jon". "I'm okay babe... I promise" I lean in and peck her on the lips, giving her silky skin a quick caress "Hmm okay". I'm not the kind of guy to talk about my problems, communication is not my strong point but I'm trying to work on it. So naturally I told her I'm fine but my mind is racing. "You wanna dance little Rose?" She giggles and coos into the crook of my neck "Always". 

"Wise men say......" Our song starts blaring from the speaker as we merge together for our slow dance. She gazes deeply into my eyes for a moment before resting her head on my chest. It feels like everything is disappearing and it's just us, dancing to our song in our home. Just in this moment, there's no tour, no album, no band, nothing, just my wife and I dancing in our home. "Chrissie.... I just wanna say... you really are... everything.... I've loved you from the first moment I saw you..." She lifts her head once again, her bright eyes searching mine "I love you Jon". 

We continue to dance for a while longer, letting the record play through to the end. There's always been something about her that keeps me grounded and solid. I honestly can't picture my life without her and I want her with me for the rest of my life. 

We fall asleep facing each other with our hands draped over one another. I'm almost immediately sucked into a sweet dream. I know it's a dream but a part of me wants it to be real. I'm laying in bed with Chrissie by my side but there's something different, I can hear something echoing through the house. I force myself up out of bed, making my way through the halls. The further into the house I get, the louder and more clearer it becomes. It sounds like crying, but I can't be certain. At the end of the hall is a door with a Rose on it but this door doesn't exist in my house. I walk right up to the door and wrap my hand round the handle, giving it a gentle tug. The door creaks as it swings open and that's when the sound becomes clear, someone is crying. I walk inside to see a small cot in the centre of the room and something tells me to go over to take a look. With my wits about me I walk over, not sure what I'm expecting to see inside. 

My heart swells up when I see a tiny baby wriggling around in the cot, crying her heart out. I'm assuming it's a girl from the pink baby grow she has on. She stretches out her arms and I instantly pluck her up into my arms without thinking and her crying stops straight away. I gently sway her from side to side, soothing her with a sweet humming melody. Her eyes pop open and it's then that I realise, by her bright blue eyes, she's my baby, she's my daughter. I don't know how else to explain it, but when I look in her eyes, I know she's mine. I know I don't have a daughter which is what makes this whole thing more confusing, but something about this feels right, maybe, I want this...

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I'm sorry for how long these episodes are taking to write up but thankyou for your patience. Some episodes are quicker than others and come more easily to me and some are a little harder, so I apologise for this one being a little shorter than the others. But please keep reading because I have some exciting things coming up. 

Expect the next episode up in the next 2 weeks...