Rat a Tat Tat

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11- Rat a Tat Tat.

The Zlingball dream was the strangest yet. This time his opponent was Ivana scantily clad in a leather dominatrix outfit. While his own zlingball ball was normal, Ivana 's was made up of a giant pair of testicles, one testis lower than the other as it should be, hanging from the ceiling. She was hitting them hard and aiming for John's face. He managed to duck the high gland most of the time but the lower ball would nick him on the side of the head as it was travelling askew of its mate. Every hit resulted in an emission of pubic hair that floated down on his side of the court. His own ball was ineffective against the gargantuan testis as he could not aim around them to hit Ivana. Soon the floor was covered with pubic hair which made it very slippery.

John could see Ivana laugh at him as he did his best not to slip while trying to avoid being sacked. Suddenly he heard a voice calling him. He turned and saw Areana wildly waving her arms while calling his name. That was enough to give Ivana an inhibited hit at the balls. She hit them both squarely at the same time by slightly lowering her bat so that it had the correct angle. John turned his head just in time to see the enormous  gonads coming straight at his mid-section. The nuts hit the nuts and John fell down clutching his private parts. Before he could get up again Ivana hit the returning family jewels, aiming at his head. This time it was the sack that hit him scarcely in the face with each ball wrapping themselves around his head and bouncing off each other when they reached the back. John went numb to the sound of his name repeatedly resounding in his head.

"John, wake up" Areana said as she shook John.

John did not open his eyes but answered:

"What is it, I was having one of my Zlingball dreams. It was the worst one yet."

"There's a speed boat approaching, I think it's the Lonely Sea Men, and there's a man at the bow with what looks like a machine gun in his hand".

But before John could do anything the boat had come alongside, slightly hitting the Sea Oar, and the man with the machine gun jumped on the Sea Oar, firing his machine gun in the air.

The rat a tat tat  brought John out of his slumber.

The man walked towards John and Areana with his machine gun, a vintage Tommy gun from the 1920s, pointing in their general direction. He then yelled out;

"Nobody move or Tommy will be spitting at ya."

The man was of average height with a pug face, an ugly pug face. He wore a fedora and pin striped suit; classical gangster look.  He was quickly followed by a woman that both Areana and John immediately  recognized.

"Ivana, you're supposed to be in jail! And what are you doing with my stolen speed boat" John intoned with surprise.

"That's what I want everybody to think John." Ivana answered, as she pointed a vintage Luger at John and Areana. “As to your boat, you gave me the key and showed me how to operate it. You probably don't remember, do you.”

She then turned to the man with the machine gun and said;

"Bull, Go check below and see if anyone else is on board while I watch these two. Meanwhile I'll watch the two lovebirds."

"Sure moll, right away."

"Don't call me moll, you know I don't like it.”

Bull pulled the front of his fedora down and headed for the ship's control room.

"What do you want Ivana, why can't you leave me alone." John's voice revealed that he was quite angry and if it was not for his new frontal cortex he would have wished to kill her right there and then.

"Well John, since I can't have you, I want your money. Simple as that"

"Bastard, Ivana, you Bastard!"

Ivana frowned. "Really John, you want my bastard. Tempting, especially now that you have a young body. But I must pass on that. My friend Bull would get jealous."

The conversation was interrupted by Bull returning from his task.

"There's no one else on board moll, I checked all the bunks and didn't find anybody. The boat is on automatic pilot." Bull said as he re-aimed his Tommy Gun at the hapless couple.

I am not your moll, quit calling me that".  Ivana's voice showed some anger, but she managed to compose herself. "John I want you to meet Bull, Bull Let. He his the new love of my life. He used to be a simple employe of mine; the hit man I had hired to rid us of Areana. It's hard to avoid these workplace relationship as you know too well John. Bull tie them to their chairs while I explain what I want from them."

Bull went back to the speed boat and retrieved some Zlingball ropes and Goose Tape(1)  obviously brought along for the purpose. As Bull was constraining John and Areana, Ivana related how she had bribed Dr Weinster to create a clone for her and that it was the clone that was languishing in prison. She continued the story;

"What the clone doesn't know is that she will be poisoned in jail by another of my employee; a guard with a gambling problem. You see, knowing myself, I cannot trust her to keep her mouth shut forever. However I am out of cash and I will need some money to pay him, otherwise she lives."

John was aghast at the cold blooded plotting of Ivana. He could not help but chastise her:

"Only the worst scum in the universe would kill themselves."

"Think of it has a partial suicide." Ivana responded with a smirk on her face.

 "In any case if I was in jail for life I would not want to live to a ripe old age.

"What about Dr Weinster, do you trust him to keep his tongue."

Bull burst in " I took care of Dr Weinster, he won't trouble us".

"Shut up Bull, what are you talking about." Ivana sniped.

But Bull was too proud of his ruthless killer skills and he needed to brag.

"I did it just like in that old movie, what was it called, ho yeah the Godfather. I waited for Dr Weinster to go in his tomato garden and old Tommy spat lead until he was dead. Tommy makes a nice sound when he spits; rat a tat tat."

"Don Corleone died of natural causes not from machine gun fire."

(1)Trademark of Heating and Cooling Conduit Supply Inc.

"Yeah but he was in his tomato garden, close enough," Bull answered.

"No matter, lets get this over with. John I need you to transfer 5 million galactic dollars to an account of my choice. Once I have time to transfer the funds to other untraceable accounts, I will set both of you free."

John was not so sure. With the knowledge he now had of what was going to happen to the Ivana clone and the fate of Dr Weinster, he could see no reason for Ivana to spare them.

"I don't believe you, you will dispose of us as soon as you get what you want."

"Hmm, possible, but you don't have much choice. We should have been more discrete as to what we do with embarrassing witnesses. Bull do you have one of your cigars with you."

"Yeah, sure, you want to smoke one? Can I smoke one too?"

"Not you idiot, I want to use it to burn John's precious mate. Perhaps when he sees her screaming for mercy he will provide me with what I want."

"You're evil Ivana, pure evil!. John responded with rage in his voice.

"Light her up Bull, Ivana wants to smell burning flesh."

"Can I take a few puffs before I start?"

"Sure, sure, just hurry up".

(1)Trademark of Heating and Cooling Conduit Supply Inc.

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