Things I can't//Larry Stylinson

Chapter 13

"Louis, please tell me the truth. Please," I beg him. I need to know. Otherwise the feeling of unknown will eat me alive.

"I-I can't."

I stand up and go over to him. I sit down, not too close nor too far. I give him and also myself some time to get used to being close to each other again.

"Plase, I need to know," I say very quietly, but I know he heard me.

"I'd love to tell you Harry, but I can't."

"For the whole two years I've been suffering. Do you know what it's like to love someone so much but one day you wake up and they left you without a reason. I've been blaming myself the whole time. What if I wasn't good enough for him? What if he never trully loved me? What if he cheated on me and then finally decided to leave me for that person? Those thoughts didn't leave my mind. I didn't eat, I didn't talk, I didn't sleep. I was thinking about what have I done wrong all the time."

He looks straight into my eyes which are full of water like his. "Do y-you think it was easy for me?"

I decide to answer truthfully. "Yes, otherwise you would have never do that or at least not like you did. You would have normally break up with me, not just by a sorry letter." I wanted to sound strong but my voice breaks.

"Gosh, Harry you're making this so much harder than I thought." He covers his face with his small hands.

"It's easy, just tell we why you did it and then Niall will let us out and we don't have to see each other again." I don't believe the last part, or at least I hope that will not happen, however I want to make him talk. 

"I promised not to tell you, he doesn't want you to know."

"It's a he? So it was not you?"

"Shit." He covers his mouth with hand.

What? Now I'm confused. He? Who could have done something like that? It had to be someone who didn't like the idea of me and Louis being together.

"Was it Simon Cowell?" I try. I know he won't tell me, so I have to guess. 

He slightly nods.

"But why? Now you have to tell me. You can't say it was him and then not tell me why."

"Technically it was you who said Simon was the reason."

"C'mon. Not now Louis." 

He chuckles and that brings a little smile to my face.

"Okay, I'll tell you," he sighs and takes a deep breath. I don't talk. I want to give him enough time to prepare what to say. 

"I'm not sure how to say this right," he starts.

"Two years ago when our band went on hiatus, Simon called me into his office. He told me not to tell anyone that I'm going to visit him. When I came there he had an offer for me. Well at first I got the typical lecture about us. How wrong it is and that we're sinners and all these things he had been telling us for 5 years. But then he told me about a very interesting offer. He said that one of us gets freedom. That means no more fake girlfriends, no more censore, no more rules. When we were together you've always talked about how much you want to be free. I just couldn't take this opportunity from you. I am the older one, I wanted to sacrifice my freedom for you."

He takes a few moments to breathe and then he continues.

"He told me what he had planned for you, how your life would look like with freedom. How far you could get. And what kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't let you have the best. You deserved it all and I didn't want to be the reason for your suffering. But there was one condition. I had to break up with you. It was so hard to make a decision, but deep down I knew what was right. I-I just wanted you to be happy. Leaving you for you to have freedom was probably the least selfish decision I had ever made," when he finishes, there are tears running down his cheeks.

"Harry, I left because I had to, not because I stopped loving you," he whispers the last part.

"Lou, I had no idea. As much as I appreciate your sacrifice I don't get why you did it. I mean you knew how much I loved you and that I was able to give up everything for you. You were the whole world for me."

"But I couldn't let slip that opportunity away. That was a one-time offer."

"I know. But why didn't you at least say goodbye. That letter was pretty shitty by the way."

There is a small smile on his lips, almost invisible, but I noticed.

"I couldn't. It was too hard. If I said goodbye, I wouldn't be able to leave."

I don't answer.

"Harry?"

"Hazza?"

That nickname makes me look him into his eyes which are full of hurt.

"Please, say something," he begs.

"I-I think I need some time to process it," I say honestly.

"I get it," his eyes are pointing to the floor once again.

I stand up and knock on the door. "Niall unlock the door. We talked, now I wanna leave."

The door opens and there is the brown-haired guy, but I don't look him in his eyes. I stare at the ground and without a word I exit his house.

I need to think.

---

Hey guys!

Gosh, this chapter was so hard to write. It took me a really long time, but I think it was worth it.

Now you finally know the truth, now we have to wait what will Harry do with this new information.

Anyway, hope you liked it and definitely let me know what you think of the story so far.

Vote and comment <3

Mary x