Levami

Episode 1: New Life!

Everybody's,
There is a hope
a war,
a loss,
a pain,
a loneliness,
A sadness...
Because;
Everyone has a go.
He couldn't say goodbye.
(Turgut Uyar - Everyone has hope)

LEVAMİ - Episode 1: New Life!

(from Hayal's mouth)

We were in autumn. The leaves were falling on the ground as if they were tired of the trees. It was as if they had given up hope on the branches they were holding on to, they had no branches to hold on to. The rain was pouring down the glass. It was as if he wanted to clean up the bad things we had done. Maybe the clouds were crying for us… Who knew? Everyone was rushing to their homes as if they were afraid that the raindrops would cleanse their hearts. Maybe they couldn't give up the bad things they did... Was it so difficult for people to give up their bad deeds? Or was it too hard to be a good person? My eyes caught the little girl next to the tree and her mother. Not caring about getting wet in the rain, her mother was holding her daughter in her arms under the rain, turning her around and laughing. The little girl's cries of happiness made everyone groan. As he screamed, his mother was kissing him and giving him a big hug.

I remember the times we played games and laughed with my mother. If my mother were alive, would she play with me again? Or would we go shopping and return home happily with thousands of bags in our hands? Would he kiss me to the fullest? When I opened my clothes at night, would they cover me so I wouldn't get cold? When I got sick, would he stand by my bedside and wait for me to get well without sleeping? Would he listen to my concerns and pat my head? When I cried, would he wipe my tears that burned like fire, burning everywhere he touched? I suppressed my love for my inner mother and reminded myself that we would not be together again.

It had been four years since my mother died. Four huge years, four painful years... There was no branch left to lean on. I was left like a baby bird with one wing injured. My soul was as tired as that baby bird suffered. My heart was cold, and the tears in my eyes were exhausted. It was like I was dehydrated in the desert without my mother. My father didn't really care. He married another woman the day my mother died. Yes, you heard it right, the day my mother died... I still don't understand why my father did such a thing. Waited for my mom to die to marry someone else? Did he ever love my mother enough to do that? While I was having the worst moment of my life, my father was having his happiest moment. That's why I didn't think I could forgive my father for the rest of my life.