Behind Closed Doors

Chapter 12

Lana's POV:

The following morning Lana awoke with a dreadful feeling in the pit of her stomach, a feeling that seemed to escalate, gradually becoming more prominent with every passing day. Today the reason for her uneasiness was down to two things. The first, and main reason being the lobotomy she was due to perform, and the second was because of a certain red head who Lana had made the regretful mistake of kissing. Even though Mildred was the one who had kissed Lana first, the brunette still felt partly responsible.

Why did Mildred kiss her in the first place? As far as Lana was concerned, the woman hated her. More importantly why did she freak out afterwards? She clearly didn't want to admit she preferred the company of other women which was rightly so considering the hospital she worked in. If they found out she was gay, they would either fire her, or lock her up with the rest of the homosexuals who were being held against their will. Would the same happen to Lana if they found out she was gay? Mentally ill, a sickness that could be cured by such a simple procedure; a lobotomy.

She could just vividly picture it now, strapped down to a table, immobile but aware of everything going on around her. Gazing up with petrified eyes as Dr Hanover stood over her, drill in hand. The look of fear on Lana's face drawing a maniacal laugh from the doctor.

An involuntary shiver ran down her spine at the mere thought of that scenario. Now she understood why Mildred had freaked out. Blazed eyes holding more than just anger, disgust, resentment.. but harbouring fear too, hidden well behind the inhospitable exterior she usually portrayed.

Suddenly distracting her from her thoughts, her phone rang out. Lana picked up the device to see an incoming call from Oliver. Great, just what I need. She had been avoiding his calls because she didn't have anything definitive to tell him, and frankly couldn't deal with the arrogant son of a bitch; but despite that she reluctantly answered the phone, she couldn't avoid him forever.

"You've been ignoring my calls." He greeted her with his usual clipped and dismissive tone.

"I've been working, you should try it some time." Lana sighed, slipping into her uniform, phone held securely between her ear and shoulder as she awaited his response to her flippant remark.

A bitter chuckle echoed in her ear followed by; "Working? Is that what they're calling it these days?"

Lana had to refrain from throwing her phone across the room, her fingers tightening around the device. Don't let him get to you, Lana. "I haven't got time for this Oliver, what do you want?"

"I want an update. Have you found any proof that your theory is correct?" Lana could practically feel the smugness from the other end of the line.

"Maybe.. I don't know. I need more time."

The brunette realised that she had slowly started to drift away from her initial plan, distracted by a certain older nurse.

"So what you're saying is you have absolutely nothing, and that you're waisting everyone's time? I should pull you from this now and you can get back to your assistant duties. Not everyone is cut out to be a journalist."

Lana took a deep breath, counted to 10 and plastered a smile on her face, something she had learned to do specifically for Oliver's benefit so she wouldn't punch the fucker.

"I'm working on it, I haven't been there long, I'll email you what I have so far. So if you wouldn't mind I'm late for work, some of us can't just sit behind a desk all day and have everyone else do our job for us." With that being said, the brunette hung up mumbling a few expletives that she would love to say to his face.

♡ ♡ ♡

At work Nurse Ratched was avoiding Lana like the plague, so the brunette was left shadowing Nurse Buckett for the morning. Frankly, Lana would much rather be shadowing Mildred, at least she acknowledged her, Nurse Buckett just pretended like she didn't exist. When she did address Lana it was just to bark orders at her.

The brunette quickly scurried after the older nurse, trying to keep up with her fast pace. "I take it Nurse Ratched showed you our conversation therapy room?" She asked, her tone slightly irritated and impatient, as Lana caught up to her, falling in step beside her.

"Uh, yes she did." The muscles in her stomach contracted, an anxious feeling slowly creeping up on her. She didn't want to step foot back in that room but something told her she didn't have a choice as she hesitantly followed Nurse Buckett inside.

"Have you ever seen electroshock therapy in action?" Even just hearing the words was enough to stir a nauseating feeling inside of Lana.

"No, I haven't." And I don't want to.

"Well today is your lucky day Miss Winters." Lucky?

Suddenly the door opened and in walked one of the orderly's Lana knew as Huck Finnigan, wheeling in a young man. He had a vacant look in his eyes as though he wasn't completely there. Or maybe that's just what conversion therapy does to people. Rips them of their being, steals their humanity and all they are left with is an unrecognisable stranger inhabiting their body.

Lana forced down the lump in her throat, glancing over at Huck who seemed just as uneasy as her, offering her a polite nod of the head in greeting.

The brunette watched as the unknown man climbed onto one of the tables as though being guided by an invisible force. Like he had done this many times before. How many times does one have to endure this torture to be "cured"?

Suddenly once again the door opened and this time in walked Dr Hanover and Nurse Ratched. Both sets of eyes landed on Lana, Dr Hanover holding a pleasant smile on his face asked; "Feeling better Lana?" The brunette just nodded slowly, forcing a smile on her face as her gaze met Mildred's. The two of them shared a look, the older nurse eyeing Lana with her usual look of disdain before tearing her gaze away.

Lana's gaze lingered on the older woman a little longer than necessary before Dr Hanover claimed her attention. "I hope you're prepared to perform the lobotomy later Miss Winters?"

Lana had momentarily forgotten about that, she could practically feel the colour drain from her face. "Yes Dr Hanover." She mumbled quietly, averting her gaze down to the floor so she wouldn't have to witness what was about to happen.

Dr Hanover clapped his hands together, an excited note to his voice as though he was about to play a round of poker with old friends. "Right then, shall we begin?"

—
I have no idea what this chapter is but I hope you enjoyed it. I also have no idea where this story is heading so we're both gonna be in for a surprise. I don't know much about conversion therapy but I've done some research. I also decided to end it there because I didn't feel it was necessary to go into detail as it can be quite triggering, and also out of respect for Lana's storyline in asylum (even though that didn't happen in this story) anyway enough rambling, let me know your thoughts in the comments, that's if anyone actually reads this chapter haha!
~T ♡~