Butterfly {H.S}

1: Sincerity

"It's been a while Harry" Kingston smiles from behind the front desk.

I stay silent, instead opting for a simple nod of my head.

"What can I do for you today?" He asks softly.

I quickly let my eyes glance around the once familiar room, I used to be in this little shop all the time getting my body inked in different artwork; all by the same person. Kingston Richards.

"Tattoo" i mumble briefly, letting my eyes flick back towards his.

I hate that look everyone gives me lately; that look of sincerity, pity. I don't like to be pitied, it makes me feel helpless and small.

"Of course, you know where to go" he replies quickly, nodding me in the direction of the large leather chair.

"Thank you" I mumble under my breath.

"Do you have a design?" Kingston asks, quickly cleaning the needle as he stands next to the chair I'm now sat in.

I nod simply, pulling out my phone at the picture she drew, a large butterfly filling my cracked phone screen.

Kingston's eyes widen at the sight of it, swallowing his nerves before he speaks "did she draw that" he questions.

"Yes" i croak, tears already threatening to spill their way out of my eyes.

Kingston stays silent, just sending me an apologetic glance before he starts inking the butterfly onto my chest.

A few hours of silence pass before Kingston mumbles a low 'done' before turning away from me completely and walking back towards the front desk, Leaving me to regain my stability for a few seconds.

I look down at my chest, sighing at the butterfly identical to her drawing now permanently inked onto my chest.

"Harry" Kingston calls from behind me, breaking me out of my trance.

"Sorry" I mumble, ignoring the crack at the end of my voice as I place a few bills onto the desk, noticing Kingston's eyes widening at the sight of the money before I turn around and make my way towards the exit. I know I overpayed him by a few hundred but doing that for me couldn't have been easy for him either, they were friends and I understand it's hard for other people too, it's not just me who misses her. But it was just me who lost the love of their live.

"Styles" Kingston calls, stopping me in my tracks "if you ever need any help with Parker, you know me and Sophia are always here right?" He says, his voice now being the one filled with cracks.

"I'm fine- she's fine, she just wants her mum" I say, letting a few tears finally escape my burning eyes. "We all do" I add quickly before exiting the shop.

I stay still for a few seconds just stood on the busy street, watching as people rush past me without a care in the world. Some of them are on their phones, some of them are pushing buggies, some of them are even holding hands, eyes filled with adoration.

This isn't fair, why do they get to be happy?

Why do they get to be happy and I have to sit here like a lost puppy just waiting for her to come back.

I stomp towards my car, quickly shutting myself inside. The world around me continues moving, the noises of chatter as traffic now being slightly muffled in my ears.

I let my eyes close, the pounding of my head becoming too much for now. I want my butterfly back, I need my butterfly back.

My pitiful thoughts are broken by the loud ringing of my phone, I quickly pull it from my pocket, clicking the accept button even faster when I read the contact name.

"Marie, is everything okay?" I quickly ask.

Today's the first day I've let them babysit Parker, despite their incessant nagging and lectures about how 'I need time to heal without caring for a child' I haven't been able to let that baby out of my sight; she resembles her mother in multiple ways, from the large innocent brown eyes all the way to her tiny little feet. I feel as if she's the only piece left of my soulmate; even though I have boxes and boxes full to the brim of her things, Parker is my only reason for staying behind, furthermore; she's my only reason for surviving and staying even merely stable, my daughter needs me in the ways I needed her mother; comfort, love, adoration. All of it, I didn't want to miss a second of Parker's life.

"Everything's fine Tesoro, Parker misses you though so I'm wondering how long you'll be" she says softly in her smooth Italian accent.

"I'm on my way now" I reply in a rush, I want my daughter back in my arms the soonest I can.

"Okay, take your time" Marie replies and I can almost hear her smile in her voice, evidently caused by the light giggles echoing through the phone from my babies mouth.

Parker was a difficult baby at first, constantly crying and not sleeping through the night; no matter how hard I tried I felt as if I was never enough, she needed her mother to cuddle her and cover her little face is kisses the way she used to do to me. Over time I think Parker got used to it just being me and her, with occasional visits from Louis and the others she slowly started sleeping through the night and became more smiley everyday.

"Will do, give her a kiss for me" I say softly before hanging up the phone and starting the car. My heart rate begins to slow down as I pull out of my spot and towards Parker's grandparents house with music playing softly in the background.

It only takes a short fifteen minutes until I'm stood on the doorstep knocking on their front door, eager to see my baby girl again.

"Look whose here!" I hear Marie coo through the door, accompanied by the sound of her unlocking the door. As soon as she opens it I'm met by her small figure and dark brown hair sitting comfortably upon her shoulders. My eyes flick from to her to the six month old resting on her hip, a smile quickly overtakes my face, matching the one on Parker's face as she giggles, her one tooth on full display.

"Hey baby, I missed you" I smile, taking the baby upon my own hip.

"Come in come in" Marie smiles from infront of me, gesturing me inside her house.

I haven't been inside their house since I told them the news about their daughter. I watched as Marie broke down in her husbands arms to the sound of my voice.

Marie notices my hesitation and gives me a soft smile "oh ragazzo dolce" she coos "I think you're ready" she adds quickly.

I send her a soft smile and slowly step inside the household, my heart rate speeding up at the simple movement. My hands start to become clammy at the sigh of the familiar hallway and the photos decorating the walls. I feel Marie take Parker from my grasp as a certain memory becomes very clear in my head, enclosing whatever reality there is in current time.