Caught Between 💙

Chapter 13

They are both woken up in the morning to her phone ringing. "It's Sebastian."

Chris sits up, "Oh, I called him last night. He's probably checking on you."

"Can I have a minute?"

He stands up, "Of course. I'll go make breakfast." He leaves and closes the door.

"Sebastian? Hey."

'Hey! I have a bit of free time, I wanted to check on you. Chris called me.'

"Right. You told him not to give me space I assume. Thank you."

'You're welcome. So does that mean he listened? I know better by now that space is the last thing you need when you're upset.'

"He listened."

'Are you happy? You look happy, but you don't sound happy.'

"I am. I just, I don't know. Why me Sebastian?"

She hears him laugh. 'Why not you? When I first met you I thought you were beautiful and charming. Why are you questioning yourself? Why you? Because I loved you. I still do, I always will. But I made a lot of mistakes. The longer we're apart, the more I see. I'm sorry.'

"How come you never brought up kids or getting married once in all the time we were together?"

'Has he brought up those things?'

"Not explicitly. But yes."

'I don't know. I wasn't sure I wanted to ever get married, even now I'm not sure. And kids, I don't know. I wasn't sure it would be an option I guess, and I didn't want to scare you away.' He hears her hesitate so he continues. 'Look. You can't listen to what other people say. You can't let what other people say dictate your feelings or your life. He loves you. In ways I'm not sure I ever did. Don't shut him out like you did me. He's gotten you in ways I never did, and I realize a lot of that is my fault.'

"I know. Sebastian?"

'Yeah?'

"I love you. Thank you."

'I love you too.'

She puts the phone down and thinks for a minute. He was right, she couldn't shut out Chris. Not if she expected him to want to be with her. She walks out into the kitchen to find Chris making eggs without a shirt on. Annie comes out and groans as she leaves the apartment.

Chris turns around when he hears Ashley come out, "I guess we need our own place."

The thought of living with him made her heart skip a beat. "Yeah? Hmm. If only someone would ask me to move to Boston." She sits down at the counter as she hears him laugh.

"Yeah? Is that what you want?" He walks around the counter as she turns in the stool to face him. He puts his hands on the counter on either side of her.

"To be asked? Yes." She runs her hands up his arms to his shoulders and around his neck, pulling his face to hers.

He kisses her before pulling back, "How did your talk with Sebastian go."

She pouts, turning away from him, "It was fine." Maybe she was wrong about him wanting her to move in with him.

He grabs her and makes her face him again, kissing her. He leans in to her ear, "I will ask you. Okay? When it's time."

She doesn't say anything, just nods her head.

"So, Sebastian?" He returns to the other side of the counter, and sets a plate of food in front of her.

"It was good. He told me not to shut you out like I did him. I'm sorry Chris."

He sits on the stool next to her. "Don't be. It's fine. But he's right, don't shut me out."

"What did you and Sebastian talk about last night?"

"Well, he said that I shouldn't give you space. And he said you were probably feeling insecure. He said he broke you, and that he was sorry because I would have to work harder than he had to."

"I'm sorry Chris."

He turns to face her and cups her face in his hand. "Sorry for what?"

She looks down away from him. "He's right. I'm feeling insecure. And he's probably right about me being broken too. I saw those girls practically throwing themselves at you and all I could see was that girl with Sebastian. I'm sorry."

"I told them I wasn't there alone. I'm sorry. But you don't need to feel insecure, I'm here with you and not them."

"They knew you weren't alone. I heard them talking about me in the bathroom."

"Hey." He grabs her to make her face him. "I realize you may not be as used to this as me, and I'm sorry. We can back out of the public eye more if you want."

"I don't know what I want."

He sighs, "Well I've had public perception screw up relationships in the past. I won't let it happen here. I care far too much about you."

She was still feeling insecure but didn't know how to communicate it. Chris seemed to hear what she was thinking, he always did. "Don't listen to what other people say. Listen to what I say. And I say that I love being here with you." He pulls her to stand up and pulls her body to his. "I'm obviously attracted to you. I meant it when I said I've seen your heart. You let me in these past months when you didn't have to. Why?"

"I don't know. I found you comforting. I opened up to you because it was easy. It felt right."

He smiles, "It feels right. Doesn't it?" He places his hand in her hair, pulling her lips to his. His tongue quickly finding hers making her moan.

She groans when he pulls away. "It does feel right."

They are distracted by her phone dinging. She picks it up, "It's a message from Sebastian, he said he keeps getting asked to comment on us. It comes with a link."

She clicks on the link to an article. He was asked about whether or not he was upset that she was now seeing Chris.

"Why would I be upset about two of my closest friends being together? Things happen. Relationships aren't always black and white, and no one ever really knows what happens in them but the two people in the relationship. And the fact of the matter is that I messed it up. And more than that, you can love someone to the best of your ability, but it sometimes isn't enough. Sometimes we aren't meant to be someone's ending, just a stepping stone to something better, to someone we're meant to be with. So if you're wondering if I'm mad or upset, the short answer is no."

She starts to cry and gives the phone to Chris to read.

He looks up at her, "See, there are more people rooting for us than against us. Focus on those okay?"

"Okay."

He stands up abruptly. "I have to get going. I'm doing Billy on the Street."

"Yeah? That's great. I might go get my nails done or something. Hold on." She goes to a drawer in the kitchen and roots around and comes back to him, "Here, take this extra key. Might as well."

He smiles and kisses her while taking the key.