Cato and I have been laying in the bed for what feels like months. My body is numb and I can't think straight. I hold onto Cato tightly and sigh.
"Is he really-" I stop myself, I can't even say it without crying. My dad killed my brother, if he makes it out I swear I will kill him myself. I look up at Cato and reach for his hands. I pull them close to me and kiss his cheek lightly. Even he's not taking it well. He volunteered for Martiall during our first Reaping. They seemed to have bonded after that.
"Cato, how long has it been?" I ask quietly, barely able to form a proper sentence. He shrugs and rolls over slowly. He rolls back over and holds me close.
"It's been 5 days, you should be hungry" he says quietly and I nod. I look up at him and try for a smile. I grip his muscular arm tightly and burrow into the sheets again. I can't be hungry when my brother just died. "How's about I get some food and you snuggle with the pillows" he says smiling lightly and I nod half-heartedly.
"I'd rather snuggle with you" I say trying to sound like I'm joking, but it comes out strained. He laughs lightly and leaves me. I start to get my brain working, I could have done something, right? I try to remember that day but my brain prohibits it.
"Hey Clove?" I hear a familiar voice ask through the door, Johanna. I don't want to talk to her, or Gale for that matter. I trudge to the door, still clutching the pillow and open it slowly. "I need your help" she says desperately and I quietly let her sit on the bed.
"Can it wait until Cato is back, I haven't eaten in 5 days and I can't think" I say leaning on the wall, I'm getting weaker by the second. She nods but looks desperate.
"Clove, can you get the door?" Cato says, muffled, and I grab the knob slowly. I use all of my energy to pull it back and walk over to the bed slowly, well I'm drained.
"Clove eat, Johanna what are you doing here?" Cato asks, trying to be nice but I can hear the bitterness in his already hurt voice. I smile and take a bite of the steak on the tray, amazing. I lean onto Cato as he reaches over me for a chicken leg.
"I need your help with a little problem I have" she says, not seemingly nervous though. I nod and she looks at us nervously "I killed Gale" she says suddenly and Cato glances back at her, shocked.
"Before you continue, let's get Peeta in here, if you're okay with that" Cato says urgently to both of us. We nod and he almost bolts out of the door to Katniss and Peeta's room. He walks back, followed by Katniss and Peeta who both look tired.
"Okay continue" Cato says picking me up and placing me softly into his lap. He pulls me close and Johanna starts to explain herself again.
"I killed Gale" she says suddenly, and still comes as a shock. Peeta almost gasps with what I think is joy and smiles at Katniss, who looks genuinely confused. "I was protecting someone" Johanna says now quieter and more carefully.
"Who?" Katniss asked quietly, not looking at Johanna yet. She liked, or was confused about Gale so I can see her response being reasonable. Johanna ignores her, as if she's nervous to answer the question and looks at the ground.
"Well that takes care of our little problem" Peeta says lightly and Cato laughs lightly. I look up at him, concerned, and he laughs louder. "Sorry, this is serious" Peeta says but still ends up laughing some more.
"Well, where's his body? Why did you need our help?" I ask carefully, causing her to smile a little bit "You seem to have taken care of that pretty well". I add and we, all but Katniss, burst into laughter, and I don't know why. I lean back into Cato and sigh.
"Who were you protecting? You can tell us" I say, not trying to be too pushy. Johanna looks over, stressed and sad. I smile encouragingly and she huffs, shifting in her seat.
"I was protecting" she starts slowly and I feel myself leaning closer with anticipation. She looks down and leans onto the wall. "I was protecting myself, okay? I couldn't get him to stop. He would just go off on me and I would be so scared I couldn't do anything" she says and I see that she's shaking. I stand up and wrap her into a hug.
"Hey, you're okay" Katniss says from behind us "If he did that, he deserves it" she says firmly. Peeta holds her close to him and kisses her forehead. I release Johanna and she smiles lightly, a sort of silent thank you.
"So what'd you actually need? You don't look like the type of girl who wants to talk openly about her problems" Cato says awkwardly. I walk back over to him and sit in his surprisingly comfortable lap. I lean back into his hard chest and smile up at him.
"Well I don't exactly want to go to prison and I want to get rid of his body" she says bitterly and we all nod, almost in unison.
"You girls stay in here and we'll get the body far away" Cato says and he stands up quickly, pushing me almost off of him. He catches me before I fall fully to the ground and turns me to kiss him. I smile awkwardly through the kiss but I won't fight it. I hold him close to me and when we finally split, I'm out of breath.
"Peeta, would you care to help" Cato asks formally, mimicking a Capitol accent. I shutter lightly and try to hide it with a yawn, but Cato saw. He looks over concerned and smiles as they walk out.
"How are we going to get her from going to prison?" Katniss asked concerned. Johanna shrugs and stuffs her face into her hands. I look around awkwardly trying to think and I get ideas, none of them will work for long though. We sit there in awkward silence until the boys come back.
"We should probably leave" Cato says calmly, but his eyes are urgent. We leave slowly and walk down the corridors to the main entrance of Snow's mansion, a pair of giant dark oak door with glass knobs and small peep holes. We walk out and we're greeted by a woman in all black with her head half-shaved, Cressida. She smiles at us warmly and leads us to a hover-craft that seems to have just been waiting for us this whole time. I hold onto Cato's waist for support as we board and sit down slowly, I'm too drained for this.
"We called Cressida as soon as we got rid of the body. She'll take Johanna and they'll hide out together for a while" Cato says and I nod weakly "Clove you can go to sleep. We'll be flying all around for a while" he says softly and I comply easily. I leans into him and hold his hands firmly.
I slowly drift to sleep and dream about the memories I had with Martiall.