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It's deep. Too deep even for someone who doesn't have any will to continue living. Gravity pulls the damsel in distress towards the end with no mercy, that is, if there's an end. Her lungs burn and her throat continue to be filled with water that could grow an entire garden. Yet there's no flower growing. There's no seed to be plant on the first place, only an empty pot looking for something impossible.
She didn't try to swim nor to scream for help. She knows no one will be foolish enough to save a monster that could kill them before they have the chance to blink.
That is, until there's a fool who's willing to save what can't be saved in the first place.
Odasaku, she recalls. The one who's brave enough to grab her hand and pull her towards the land of the living without caring what's going to happen to him.
" I wanted to change. ,, he said. " I wanted to save people who needs help and leave this hell hole. ,, His words carved into her mind.
" No one deserve to be in this place. ,,
Once he had taken her to a place where she can she the star, of course with Dazai's agreement. Back then, he wasn't the greatest person nor brother. Yet she still blindly wait for him to embrace her back like once before they met Mori.
Her memories before that is very vivid, she can't remember anyone else beside her brother alone. Those "flashback" were just a fragments to mess her mind created by the curse inside her. Of course, something like a loving yet twisted mother nor the kind six feet under the ground father ever existed. It maybe a memory of someone else, but not her.
" How? ,, she whispered the words that she's been holding. Sitting beside her, a red haired man who's been eating his spicy curry. " How can you believe a creature like me deserve something better? Afterall, just like my brother said- ,,
" You both fell. You were still young. I may not know what trigger the both of you to commit suicide together but i do know that the demon taking advantage from innicent kids are the one who should be blamed. ,,
" STILL- WHY ARE YOU SO PERSISTENT ABOUT THIS?! YOU'RE JUST ONE OF OSAMU CO-WORKER! YOUR STATEMENT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING SEEING THAT YOU'RE A LOW RANKING- ,,
" If my statement isn't important than why did you agree to go to this place with me? And if my words are not important then why are you shouting so suddenly? ,,
It is a right decision to go to his favorite place to eat curry at night. There was no one else beside the calm, oriented adult and the child. Right now, the only thing that's filling the room is the clock ticking. The girl's head hung low, hands trembling and not being able to snap back at the older man.
" It was never your fault, y/n. And it wasn't your brother fault either. Mori took an interest in you and your brother abilities. He knows fully how to torture kids mentally and emotionally and manipulate them like a bunch of dolls. ,,
Something inside the young girl heart flutter at his first sentence. It's been a very long time she had heard someone calling her actual name with such tenderness and warmth.
" They messed my head up, filling it with foolish scenarios until i can't even remember what's real and what's not. ,,
At that moment, he circled his arms around her pulling her head towards his chest. She was dying, both inside and outside, and it seems like he's the only one who cares.
She cried. Heart aching with every breath she took. Meanwhile he's there like a loving father figure, promising her that he'll do whatever it takes to take her away from this hell hole. He listened to her vent, between the chokes.
That day, he took her to meet the orphan kids that he guarded under his wings. For the very first time in years she could just be her, childlike and careless persona.
***
" She never grow up, huh. ,,
There the youngest mafia executive sat, a glass of whiskey on his hand. The older red hair sat beside him, sighing at his statement like what he has explained didn't even reach his ears.
" Seems like you actually observe her. ,,
He shot back, knowing that even his words wouldn't convince the kid to turn back his mind. Just like her, he was taken by a demon and ripped apart to shred. Yet unlike y/n, Dazai Osamu didn't even move a flinch mentioning their blood related status. As if he didn't have anything to do with it.
" by the way, seems like Ango is late again. Damn that glasses, he really love his job rather than his own friends, huh. ,,
A small chuckle escaped Oda mouth. Of course he's still planning to save them both, call him a hero wannabe but even if the whole world mocked him for even trying to step in, he was better than anyone else.
He promised himself. He promised her.
Though, when the first time in ever the girl scream echoed through out the underground lair, he breath his last breath. And the last thing Dazai Y/n saw was the menacing cold stare from Mori Ougai, showing that her small attempt to even imagine to try to escape his grip.
That day, they both died.
Words count:918
Tbh i just cringe at the past chapters and now im trying to make up for it.
