late night talks. || TomTord||. •oneshots•

I'm nothing in your eyes, do you even care?

Cw:
Smuth?
Idk I'm gay
Objectivization of a lover?

_______

His body was lulled by the movement of the car, causing the street lights to partially illuminate his face from time to time, it was inevitable; he leaned against the window as if it were a pillow, accommodating his body in a comfortable position for his neck .
He closed his eyes slowly, it will only be five minutes, he thought foolishly, there were still a few hours to go and whoever shared the back seat with was also sound asleep, the atmosphere was calm and serene, with the lights of the night sky illuminating the horizon, it was not an impressive sight but not bad at all for cloudy England.
It is as if it were a unique night, something that. he had not seen before but it is likely that he  just did not look at the sky at the right time ... the usual, a lot of work and even more stress.
Without realizing what his internal monologue was planning, he was already in Morpheus's arms.

....
.....
........

He was awakened by a brush on his shoulders .
  he opened his eyes and came across some black ones, with an expression of innocence he looked around  the car quickly realizing  they were alone.
Edd and Matt had already got out and he was the only one left. They had surely sent Tom to wake him up, but there was something different, Tom's face did not reflect any living emotion, with tired eyes and his skin showed almost invisible marks, as if he had been crying.
He tried to reach  the tallest face,but his movements were interrupted by a hand touching his thigh, he felt a wave of heat shake him and in his stomach he could already feel the butterflies, he knew what was coming, it was not an alien feeling But whenever he experienced it, it is as if he discovered it again, he changed his position to something more comfortable, seeing directly the face of the young man with black eyes, he looked him up and down and smiled as if a banquet had been served in front of him

That made him a bit uncomfortable to be honest, he felt ridiculed with just one look, he felt small and fragile.
He looked away in search of a way out.
He was panicking and that's just for a smile ... Not in a good way you might say.

He felt the heat of the taller one leave his side, he turned towards the direction finding that the young man with caramel skin was already outside the car, waiting for him.

- Lets go , if you want we can go to my room -

The communist just nodded and kept up with him, they locked the car  and  checked their pockets  just in case.

Everything was fine, it's as if Thomas had already noticed his discomfort and walked away on purpose.

It felt strange.

Whenever Tom made a mistake or did something that made him feel bad in the intimate sphere, he always tried to fix it, be it with small dates and outings or with the occasional gift, but they were nothing.
They weren't dating, they weren't in a relationship, much less was there love.

It was simple, what they did was an escape from reality, nothing more than fulfilling a selfish desire, a constant struggle for control and being able to show who they really were, there was no interest in who was the person they found as a scapegoat.
All they wanted was to get rid of a problem with a solution other than alcohol and cigarettes.

...
.....

Then why? Why did he care so much about his comfort if he could change him whenever he wanted?

He tried to get those thoughts out of his head. Why did it matter? It made him feel comfortable is something logical, he tried not to lose the progress he had already achieved with him, it is simple, there is no reason to give it more lapses.