Behind Closed Doors

Chapter 11

*Mature Content*
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Mildred's POV:

"Stay the hell away from me!" The words tumbled from Mildred's mouth, blinded by rage as she glared down at the younger woman. For a moment Lana appeared scared, confused and Mildred almost felt guilty for her outburst, for the disgusted look she held on her face. Seconds ago she had kissed her, and now she stared down at her as though the mere thought of her actions, of this woman, anything remotely resembling homosexuality, repulsed her. How could I be so fucking stupid? I'm not one of them.

Up until now she'd done so well to control herself, but driven by god knows what, stupidity maybe, she'd lost control of the wheel plunging straight into the depths of insanity.

The entire building shook as Mildred slammed the door shut behind her, leaving Lana and her look of shock as she hurried out of there before she made any more stupid mistakes. What was I thinking? What was going through my brain to think that kissing Lana, the equivalent to an annoying little chihuahua, was in any way a plausible thing to do?

She paused outside the door as she tried to compose herself, gaze flicking to one of the older male residents who had taken a moment to observe her flustered state. Shooting him a cold, icy glare, he retreated back into his room. She could hear the creak of Lana's bed on the other side of the door that separated them both, followed by footsteps padding across the floor so she quickly took off down the hall towards the exit, glancing over her shoulder at Lana's room, a twinge of guilt washing over her.

Mildred rushed out, escaping to her car, absorbing a few moments of solitude before she were to drive back to work. She allowed her eyes to close for a moment, focusing on slowing her breathing down and bringing her heart rate to an acceptable rhythm. She should not be getting this worked up over a stupid kiss. There was a small part of her brain, she tried so hard to ignore, that held minor details of the kiss. The way Lana's lips felt against her own.. the way her breathing accelerated but her body relaxed.. the way her- no Mildred, you are not gay, you are not nor will you ever be one of them, her mother's words played like a broken record, propelling her back to a memory from her teenage years. A memory she had tried so hard to forget.

~ The wind billowed outside my bedroom window, rain thrashing hard against the glass. I watched the clock tick by on the wall, impatiently tapping my fingers on my thigh. My parents shuffled around the house, getting ready for work like they did any other Saturday, leaving me alone for 6 hours which was when my mother would be home, my father a little later.

A few minutes later they bid their goodbyes, providing me a list of chores that needed to be done before their return, which was the same every week. I watched from my window as they ran out into the rain, trying to shield themselves from the despicable weather as they clambered into their car before taking off down the street.

I waited a few moments, glancing across the street at the house that stood opposite mine, an instant smile growing on my features when I saw her through the window. Her eyes met mine, wearing a matching smile on her face as we shared a knowing look. She too had been waiting eagerly for my parents to leave, just like any other Saturday.

She disappeared from the window and a few seconds later emerged from the front door. I ran down stairs to greet her, opening the door just in time to see her flushed face and damp hair that hung loosely around her shoulders. Her name was Diana and she was the love of my life, but our relationship had remained a secret for the past few months because our parents were very religious and didn't believe in homosexuality. Every Saturday when my parents went to work, she would come over, this was the only real time we had with each other.