My Bubblegum King

22

Diego Royal

At almost twenty years old, you'd think I've seen it all and learned it all. Okay, nineteen and four months isn't old and I've still got a long way ahead of me, hopefully, and so much more to learn but I honestly thought I would have known all the basics of surviving, living and loving— well, liking. I should know how to control my emotions, my body, my brain, I'm fucking nineteen. Meeting Paxton Flynn has made me feel like a newborn in many ways.

"So my dorm is basically like other dorms," he talked as he walked, turning around so he could look at me and walking backwards like he had eyes behind him. "Simple and very normal and— wait, have you seen other dorms?"

I bite on my lower lip to hold in a smile and hold his shoulders, turning him around to face where he's walking to. "Not really." Everything about him made me want to smile or laugh, it had to be some kind of ailment.

"Not really? What's not really?" He asked, turning his head to look at me again. I increased a step so I'd put us on the same walking line, so he doesn't keep turning to look up at me.

"I lived in a frat house my first year, remember? I think I've been in a dorm just once and I don't remember it so well, so, not really," I explained, trying to think of what I was doing in a dorm in the first place... Oh.

Paxton nodded, "okay, I understand. What took you to a dorm when you went there?" I stayed silent. He nudged me, smiling now in a teasing way. "Come on, you can tell me."

I forced a frown on my face, holding his shoulder and putting a little space between us. "I haven't forgiven you yet. You don't get to be cheeky with me."

His smile fell and I felt bad, I don't think I've seen a more beautiful thing on any face like Paxton's smile. "Ouch," he exhaled and forced a little smile on. "I deserve that though."

I sucked in air through my teeth and looked away, staring straight ahead and walking silently. I was holding myself back, honestly, I think that's what Paxton was brought into my life for to teach me how to perfect the act of holding back. I've been doing that since the very first day we exchange words. I held myself back from asking him out the very first time— I had to be a civil human and makes friends a little, fucking civilization, I held myself back from grabbing his face and kissing him senseless whenever he acted cute in front of me— which, I must point out, happened every fucking time—, I held myself back from yelling and screaming out why the one guy I felt insanely connected with had to have a boyfriend back home that he was super committed to and in love with.

Before I met Paxton, holding myself back from things and my very own self was the problem, I acted impulsively and stupidly at all times and it always landed me in deep shit. The worst of all happened during my first year in college and I guess that was the final straw to break the camel's back and I swore to be a changed person and begged the universe to help me out— Paxton was an answered prayer. I can't imagine him meeting the old me, the look of disappointed on his face would probably kill me, I can't imagine hurting the little guy, I'd do anything before it ever gets to that. Now every time I thought of doing something stupid, I just needed to think back to him and it'll put me back on track. I don't think Paxton even knew how important and helpful he was in my life, I don't think he knew how he made me feel with two weeks of his absence. Yeah, just friendship meant so much to me, it was madness.

Now I was holding myself back from pulling his body against mine and telling him that I've forgiven him, that he didn't need to frown or pout because at least he was here now and trying to make up for it. Not many would do that. Old Diego wouldn't do that. Old Diego cut off friends that even so much as not picked a call or called back. Old Diego didn't care about anybody but himself. Old Diego wouldn't be going to a guy's room just to talk and eat.