AILUROPHILE [✓]

Fall at the final hurdle

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

❝  to fail to accomplish something near the end of your attempt ❞

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

The faint, eerie rustles of the dead leaves that danced with the chilly blows, caressed my ears. Mikey's silence did not make the heaviness any better. We stood there, quiet, speechless, wondering what to utter out.

I was afraid that if I spoke, every single brick I'd used to build my walls would collapse, leaving behind a fragile image of me visible to Mikey's naked eyes. And what was worse, was that I was quite possibly having the most selfish thoughts I'd ever had in years. Every single possibility, every single suspicion— it was right all along. I couldn't bring myself to understand his position. Not when I was myself on the brink of falling.

"It's...."

"Shinichiro was Black Dragons' leader."

He didn't respond. It wasn't a question, anyway. Just an observation I'd made. Maybe he didn't say anything because he didn't know what... what his brother's gang had done to my family— or what was left of it. It wasn't a family to begin with, but... at least I wouldn't have to see corpses at the age where I should've been sneaking out at night with my friends.

I... really couldn't hold it in.

"Mikey. Is there something I'm missing? Your brother... he looks really sweet, and... and the way you've described him... as if you looked up to him... and that thing... it just doesn't make sense."

"I do look up to him. I've told you already. Being a gang leader—"

"A murderer."

I knew I'd blurt out anything that came to my mind right during that moment, but... surprisingly enough, I didn't feel guilty at all. It wasn't an exaggeration, he had played a role in whatever happened.

And now it all made sense.

The burn marks... the subtle hints of Mikey's feud with Yuzuha and her brothers...  God. I really couldn't process anything.

"What do you mean—"

"His gang killed people."

"They didn't! Listen to me."

The sudden increase in the volume of his voice, and his harsh grasp on my wrist, they both very clearly indicated his impatience to explain himself. But there couldn't possibly be an explanation to whatever I was about to throw at his face, my heart in a state of frenzy.

"That.... they... all should be dead.. or in jail, at least. I can't believe... Do you even know—"

"I know. I know it better than anybody else that it was Valhalla's fault. That everyone in that fire, including your father, all were affiliated in an accident! The...." He trailed off, repeating the words he'd said out loud to himself quietly.

A sudden weight hovered over my chest, throat aching slightly as I swallowed a lump of silent hiccups. My fingers shivered under the paws of my sweater, gripping at its edges with all their might.

He knew.

"So that's why you didn't want to talk to Taiju in front of me."

There was no mistaking it. I saw the way he concealed his face behind his palm, before reaching out to me.

All I could do was flinch, unsure of how to react.

A pained look flashed across his features. He dropped his hands on either of his sides, rubbing his palms against his jeans before trying to muster up some words, to finally cut the thick silence that threatened to weigh us down.