tear you apart, kaz brekker (discon.)

xx. all the things you said

21. chapter twenty-one!
all the things you said

    Don't be ridiculous, she wants to say, just to say something. But her eyes fall to Thalia and she fears Zoya may be right, not entirely, because only over her dead body would she admit such a thing, but to some degree. She must've been, because Thalia was starting to look as though everybody but her spoke another language.

    "She is right here?" Thalia interrupts, stepping away from Zoya. Her eyes fall to Katarina. "Who are you?"

Katarina blinks rapidly, resisting the urge to laugh at her friends awful attempt at a joke. "Who— who am I?" She stutters. "I'm only your best friend, aren't I? What the fuck are you ok about? Stop being a twat."

Katarina let's put a nervous laugh, knowing if she doesn't laugh she'll probably cry.

    "First of all, I genuinely have no idea who you are. Secondly, don't call me a twat, that's rude. Thirdly, put your damn hands of fire down before I knock you out."

Katarina looks down at her hands and gasps, grabbing her gloves from the table beside her. She hadn't any time to be impressed, she was confused. Hurt.

    "Why is she pretending like she doesn't know me?" She asks Zoya, hesitant to sound so vulnerable in front of them.

    "Because she doesn't." Zoya replies and Katarina frowned. "A lot of stuff happened when you left, Kat. Stuff you wouldn't even dream possible."

    Try me, she wanted to say, no scream.

    "But that doesn't—"

    "Not to interrupt," Mal pipes up, doing just that. "But does someone want to fill me in on what in the name of the saints is going on?"

Thalia nods. "And me, if you don't mind. I only came here to find Zoya, and I'd like to know what it is I've just walked in on."

    Me, Katarina wants to say. She stays silent.

Walking back, Katarina shut the drawer and grabbed the stack of envelopes, instead of trying to talk to Thalia, she turns to Zoya.

    "She didn't even—"

Zoya held up her hand. "I told you: things have changed."

"Right," Katarina let's out a manic laugh, shaking the letters in disbelief. "Right, I leave and everyone— including my best friend— forgets who I am? That's an awfully big change."

Katarina has felt heartbreak, she had gone through more in her few years than many did in a lifetime, but she's completely convinced the saints can heart her heart ripping in two.

Suddenly, the doors burst open and a blonde guard hurried in, seizing Mal by the arm.

    "Miss Starkov will see you now."

He isn't given the chance to protest, or even bid them farewell as he's escorted out with the doors closing behind him.

The dark haired girl's shoulders fall, her last breath of hope leaving her mouth with no remorse and no plans of returning anytime soon. She feels almost numb, even after escaping his grasp, Kirigan had still managed to make her life a living hell.

    Unfortunately for him, there was nothing Katarina Levitsky did better than revenge.

And yet, no matter how much she wanted to burn him alive or have him torn apart limb from limb, all she felt was betrayal. And it was overwhelming

    "Who is this loon insisting that she knows me, why do you know her, and why was Mal in here?"

Katarina's eyes narrow at the girl she had once called her friend, once upon a time she would've burst into tears at such a comment, but now a fire burned from deep within her, the sparks of it threatening to leap from her mouth and burn those around her. She didn't. She bit her tongue, knowing and hoping that the Thalia stood in front of her was not the Thalia she had left behind.

"Read them," She pleaded, making one last attempt. Katarina shoves the letters she found into Thalia's grasp, but the heartrender only caught a few, the rest fell to the floor as lifeless as ever. "Read them and remember me. You have to remember."

Thalia frowned slightly, looking at Katarina as though she was nothing. As though she was nobody. Zoya was right. She had forgotten.

It was almost like a switch that had turned itself off inside of her, her entire demeanour changed, no more did her eyes brim with tears, her brows relaxed from her previous frown, her lips pursed.

    She was too far gone. Both of them were.

Pulling her from her own, almost dangerous thoughts, were two hands harshly grabbing her arms. She hears people shouting, and she's almost shocked to think that it's Zoya telling them to be careful, but everything sounds and looks fuzzy.

Then, just as she's sure the world around her is moving without her, her eyes meet Thalia's and everything, including her heart, stops. The girls smile is sad, her lips barely curling, and she only holds the eye contact for a moment before she looks down to the floor, chewing on her bottom lip.

    Just like that, Thalia is gone. Like the wind.

note!
sorry this is a short one?? a bunch of stuff has happened and i've been super busy (including Ioverots coming down and visiting me irl!!! anyways 20k on this book is fucking insane thank you all so much :,))