11. Just Sad

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Oooooh, I messed up. I fucked up big time. Why would I do that? Why would I put myself in that predicament? I stopped at a red light, ignoring my ringing phone. I didn't think my urges would win. I shouldn't feel so guilty! It was a kiss, that's it. Relax. I knew what kissing Marissa would do to me. It would make me suspire her lips all the time. She was hard to resist. Her supple lips were just centimeters from mine alluring, pouty and there- Yes, I fucked up. It's been 5 minutes and my heart is still racing the same speed it was when Marissa kissed me- When I kissed her- WHEN WE KISSED. 

"How's Marissa?" Aug asked as I walked into the living room. 

"Where's Adrian?" I tried to divert the convo.

"Hell if I know. Did you stop by Marissa's house? How is she?" 

"She uh..." I trailed off, clearing my throat. August sat up. "

When's the last time you saw her?"

 "The last time she was here seeing you." He answered suspiciously. "Was she at home?" 

"Yes. She was there." I was uneasy, so I distracted myself by raiding the refrigerator.

"So what happened B?"

 "I caught her-" I started. Aug's eyes widened as he said, 

"You caught her sleeping with somebody?" He exclaimed. I slammed the fridge thinking about that scenario.

 "Nah MAN!"

 "Then what? I'm trying to guess, because you're holding back." 

"She was using." I sat down disappointed. 

"Where'd she get it from?" 

"I don't know, I took it from her and flushed it. I turned around and she was gone. She was downstairs about to leave and get more." I rolled my eyes. "She was so pissed." 

"Any fiend would be shitty if you took their high." 

"Don't call her that." I defended. 

"My bad." 

"She told me she hated me man." I looked over to him. "She repeated it over and over." 

"Those were the drugs talking. She didn't mean it." 

"She didn't get the chance to use it. Maybe a tiny bit, because I interrupted her session. She must have said she hated me 5 times. She was shouting in my face and hitting me." 

"She was besides herself. What do you think happened? What made ha' want to use?" 

"I never found out. Her and her dad didn't tell me." I shrugged.

"She doesn't hate you dawg." 

"I told her I was going to leave and not come back." "How'd she take that?"

"Her hardcore act died down."

 "See!" August confirmed his point by smacking his open hand on the couch. I popped my water open and bit the inside of my cheek before announcing, 

"We kissed." I declared, making August freeze before his hand landed on the couch. He blinked multiple times. "You fucked up." He pointed his finger at me. Yea, like I didn't know that already. "Why would you kiss her?"

 "She kissed me!" 

"You kissed back!" 

"I tried to kill the temptation!" 

"You didn't try hard enough!" He argued. 

"I didn't! You're right I didn't, because I didn't want to in the moment, but now I don't know what to do."

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