I stand in front of the floor to ceiling window that acts like part of the wall in my office. I'm not really the business type, but it makes me a crap ton of money so I'm not complaining plus I actually really enjoy it. I still wish my dad didn't hand this all over to me, but it helped me a lot so I am still grateful. I just don't want to owe him anything.
I turn around and walk towards my desk. I lean against it as my mind wanders towards Madison. I have grown this weird attachment towards her, which shouldn't be there. I am suppose to be doing this as a favor for a Joe and to save my own ass, not for hers. After we had sex the other day and she told me her emotions were all screwed up I cant help but feel like it's all my fault. Actually it is my fault.
I feel like I need to fix it now. I need to stop being so bossy and possessive around her, but it's hard considering its just who I am. I'm a jerk and a complete inconsiderate asshole and I know it. Madison, though, she makes me want to be nice, to be a gentleman. I hate it, I really do, but she just makes me want to be a better person.
I also hate how I've hurt her in the past and I hate how she always forgave me. She should have called the cops on my ass or never spoke to me again. She is just as crazy as I am. Like when I left her at Samuel's whore house. Any other girl would have never even spoken to me again and probably try to get me arrested. She forgave me though, and she will continues to forgive me.
Whenever she forgives me it's like relief, guilt, and anger runs through me all at one. Relief because if she didn't forgive me I would be screwed. Guilt because I've done something terrible to her and anger because I don't deserve it. I don't deserve her to like me or want to try and make this work. Whenever she says that I feel like we are in some kind of relationship. I'm not her boyfriend, just some rude gang leader who has to put up with her for his own selfish reasons. I regret dragging her into all this. She doesn't even realize just how much danger she is in and it's all my fault. She is too sweet and kind for this kind of stuff.
It is time for me to try and be nice to her. I have before, but I honestly wasn't trying that hard. This time though, I'm going to treat her the way I have never treated anyone before. Its not because I like her or anything just because I have put her through so much shit and will continue putting her through crap that I need to make it up to her. If that means simply being kind to her, I will. I will never physically hurt her again or I'll try not to at least. It is hard containing my anger sometimes, but with Maddi I'm going to have to.
A knock on the door pulls me out of my thoughts and I call for whoever it is to come in. Harry steps through the door, papers in hand. He isn't dressed in a suit or anything that would be appropriate for a business building, instead he is dressed in his regular clothing. The only ones who do dress up professionally are Louis and myself. That's just because the positions we hold, though. Niall, Harry, and Liam aren't really into my corporation and this kind of business, but they still help out. Plus this is where of some gang related stuff happens.
"These are from Joe," he sits them on my desk.
"Anything new from the deals?" I ask, ignoring the papers.
"Niall and Liam are handling one now and the other two went smoothly," he smiles, proudly.
"What about the newbies? How are they doing?" I ask even though he probably doesn't know.
"I've heard they are doing alright, you should probably ask Liam about that though. Since he is the one who deals with them."
"Alright, I will," I tell him and sit down at my desk.
"Something bothering you, Mate?" Harry asks, sitting down on the opposite side.
"Madison is all." I shrug.
YOU ARE READING
Into The Darkness (Zayn Malik)Fanfiction
Maddi McCallen moved to London for an internship. One dark night she finds out just how dark and cold a person could be. Will she be able to escape him? Or will she just have to learn to live with him?