When I was thirteen years old and under 5'0 I weighed a grand total of 165 pounds.
It was gross.
No one noticed me, I was nothing more than the 'fat' back girl.
Boys didn't like me.
Girls talked about me.
And my mom barred me from the refrigerator....during the day.
During the night I snuck into the kitchen on the tips of my toes with one thing in mind, a slice of cheesecake.
Or a twenty ounce soda.
Maybe a bag of chips.
Something...anything that tasted good--to go in my mouth and make it all go away.
When I was fourteen I got tired, no I got fed up with all the jokes...all the ridicule and the looks and I did something about it.
At fifteen I lost fifty pounds and weighed a miniscule 115 pounds at 5'4.
At first I was too thick, now I was too skinny.
I couldn't win...at all.
So I unconsciously gained every single pound back, year by year until at the age of twenty I weighed not 165, but 170.
Once again I was too thick at 5'6 and twenty years of age.
I lost, again.