Diary of lavender peaks

11/3/2021

Hours later I woke up and laughed sadly a bit. I never understood my parent's but I hoped the might learn to love me even if it's fake. I mean they did that in 6th grade by sending me to camp they pretended to miss me and I was grateful. I still had one friend. She had blonde hair and light blue and gray eyes. We shared a bunk bed in the cabins we were assigned but after two days I was getting bullied constantly with nothing to say back and my friend left me after she saw an opportunity to be friends with my bullies instead. She was the only person I could talk to freely,who I could show my real feelings to. So after that I stoped trusting anyone and soon I stoped talking and finally the last day came they made us do a party like activity were we had to find a partner. I was the only person with out a partner so I had to sit out all three turns. It was night by the time we finished so I went outside but I felt someone shove me from behind. I fell and my side hit a rock ,I looked up and saw my friend she looked at me full of hatred. She told me no one cared if I lived or died she said that they would be happier with me gone. I know I shouldn't have even tried to come and expect people to accept me. Why should they I'm just a worthless little girl. Who is just annoying them

After camp was finished no one talked to me which I was grateful for. I grabbed my bag and walked home but I couldn't help but think about what she said to me

would I really be better off dead?

Of course, was the answer I got , and for the first time in weeks I smiled a bit because the voice in your head never lies. So if they say I should then I should try. So when I walked into my surprisingly empty house I went to the bathroom to ponder how I should die. One word came to my mind choking. If I did it right no would know I did it myself. So I looked around the house till I found a rope like ribbon. After I went back to the bathroom. I sat in the toilet and wrapped the ribbon around my neck two times and clasp it together and slowly pulled it tighter and tighter around my neck till I saw the familiar dancing black dots then I smiled as I collapsed to the ground as everything went completely black