I was so young. You should have known better than to lean on me. You never thought of anyone else. You just saw your pain. And now I cry in the middle of the night for the same damn thing. Because of you, I never stray too far from the sidewalk. Because of you, I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt. Because of you, I try my hardest just to forget everything. Because of you, I don't know how to let anyone else in. Because of you, I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty. Because of you, I am afraid.
«Because of You» Kelly Clarkson
-----
"Hey, guess what?" R asks, plopping down on the sofa between me and Luke.
"Chicken butt!" Ash screams from the cushion on the floor in front of us.
"You've been hanging around Hayden too much," I groan.
"He is a cool kid," he laughs. I flip him off.
"Anyways..." R drawls. "We learned about something cool in psychology today!"
"What did you learn?"
"Philophobia."
I groan, throwing my head back again the couch. "We've been over this. I'm not philophobic."
"Uhh... what is pillobia?" Ashton asks.
"That wasn't even close, dude," Calum laughs, closing the fridge to join Ashton on the floor.
"It's philophobia," Luke says slowly. "It's the fear of falling in love."
"How do you know that?" I ask.
"I'm in the same class," he laughs.
I turn to R with a dead stare. "We are seriously bad at this."
She shrugs. "Not the point."
"Right. The point is that I do not have philophobia," I huff.
"Admit it!" R shrieks. "You are terrified to fall in love!"
"Why would you be afraid of falling in love?" Calum asks. I roll my eyes.
"She had her heart broken before she knew her ABC's," R says bluntly.
"I did not have my heart broken," I tell them.
"Ripped to shreds."
"I was fine."
"No she wasn't."
"I'm fine."
"No she's not."
"R is amazing."
"Yes, she is."
"Dammit!"
"I'm not falling for that!" she chuckles.
"Whatever," I groan.
"Okay, wait," Ashton says. "So, what? This pillow word means just that... you're afraid to fall in love?"
"Here," R chirps and pulls out her phone. "Let's just read what Google says."
"Can we not?" I moan.
"Philophobia is the abnormal, persistent and unwarranted fear of falling in love. The risk is usually when a person has confronted any emotional turmoil relating to love in the past. This affects the quality of life and pushes a person away from commitment. The worst aspect of fear of being in love and falling in love is that it keeps a person in solitude."
YOU ARE READING
Graffiti Girl // Michael Clifford
Fanfictionwe're different kinds of artists. we both know the world can be a shitty place. we both have ways of making our own parts of it better. you use music. i use spray cans. or, the one where she's a little fucked, and he's a little curious about the mys...
