Mouse

chapter twenty seven

I told myself it was only natural that I would feel a little unsettled and anxious for the first night in my new home. After all, I was in a new environment and also having to listen out in case George woke up in the next room, where he was now sleeping.

But I guess the most unsettling thing was probably having Ricardo lying in the bed next to me, asleep also.

He had come into the nursery where I had lingered after settling George for the night to look in on him, then he had suggested we should go to bed also, he was exhausted after all the events of the day.

It wasn't really surprising that he was tired, although he still had the wheelchair, he preferred using the crutches to get about, so the effort had probably caught up with him later that evening when everyone was gone.

Still before we had actually went to bed, I decided to tackle him about our new sleeping arrangement, now we were alone.

"It would have been nice if you to had discussed your plans with me beforehand, about us suddenly sharing a bed together"

"What is there to discuss?" Ricardo shrugged

"Whether I actually wanted to go along with it, for one thing," I then said

"Well, I didn't think you would object, you seem to quite enjoy it the last time we shared a bed together," he reminded me with a meaningful smirk, and I felt my cheeks heat up.

He let out a small sigh, suddenly looking openly weary, "C'mon Mel, it's more practical this way don't you agree? Things have changed now, we have a child to consider, and I reckon to be proper a mother and father for him we have to be a proper man and wife. I am realising we can't go back to the way we were at the beginning, and in truth I don't want to.. Do you?" his dark eyes stared at me questioningly

"No, I guess not," I replied quietly, realising he had a valid point as I stared down at my fidgeting fingers

"Good, so lets just go to bed, and not make a big deal out of it tonight, I am too tired" he finished

It was hard to argue or make any further objection without seeming churlish, so I went to the bathroom to change and got ready for bed

When I returned to the bedroom Ricardo was already in bed, and seemed to be sleeping, he must have been really tired after all

So I turned out the light and went over and crept into the other side of the bed next to him lying on my side with my back to him, careful at first, so that our bodies were not touching, and I wouldn't be disturbing him

But still, I was finding it hard to sleep, my mind was restless and kept going over these last few months recalling what Ricardo said about how things had changed, and we had to adapt.

Up until now, my only thoughts had been on getting Ricardo back on his feet, and having the baby.

We had more or less achieved those goals, what would happen now I wasn't sure. Only he had been right; we could never go back to the way we were, and I comforted myself that surely whatever happened in the future now, it could never be as bad as it had been already between us in the past

I had settled into a kind of uneasy doze, my ears still subconsciously listening for any noise above the sound of Ricardo's deep breathing next to me, and when I heard George crying, my eyes flew open immediately and I slipped out of bed and into the next room, knowing he had probably waken for a feed.

He was a good baby, very contented and only cried of he was hungry or in some sort of discomfort.

As soon as I picked him up shushing him he quietened, and I undone the buttons on the front of my nightdress and settling him in my arms in the rocking chair.