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Chapter 10 ~ Trying To Consume, The Drug In Me Is You

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Normal P.O.V.

"Thank you so much for having us" I smiled over to Bryan who was rummaging around in the corner as he packed away his equipment. I scrambled to my feet, gradually pulling myself up off the warm leather couch that I must've been sat on for at least an hour. I could feel the pressure numbing my legs as they got used to the weight that was quickly forced upon them. With a quiet yawn, I shut out the world around me, stretching enthusiastically as an unusual film of exhaust clouded my eyes. I was suddenly so tired that I swear I could've slept standing up.

I felt a hand rest on my shoulder, abruptly forcing me out of my dream world where I wish I could've stayed a little longer, "You want to come to the bar with us and Bryan?" Ryan asked me, raising his eyebrows as he always did when he tried to persuade me something was a good idea.

I didn't need to say anything at all, the firm icy look I let out through my hazel eyes made him back away in surrender, but no matter how many times he begged for me to tell him why, I kept my eyes to the ground and my lips sealed. "Come on Natasha! Just one drink... I'll even pay for you!" he seemed to beg me, following my footsteps as I picked my leather jacket off the top of a crate where instruments would be stored.

With my attention fully plastered on my jacket,  I ran my fingertips along the smooth, cold material that I loved more than any piece of clothing I owned, before pulling it around my curvy waist, defiantly ignoring Ryan for a moment further. "I just can't okay... I have a... Date." I explained, letting the word echo through my mind multiple times. The world circled my brain, causing me to become extremely dizzy. Until now, I don't think the concept had actually settled in my brain and the more I thought about it, the more I worried.

I hadn't been on a date since Josh and I first met, and once he had gotten me firmly wrapped around his little finger through his "hopeless romantic" gestures and flattering compliments, I meant nothing. The fact that he "owned" me was all he wanted. And clearly, his goal was not only to own me, but probably dozens of other girls too. He treated me like I was a burden after that, knowing simply that if I was his, I couldn't have anybody else. 

Before any questions could be asked, I raced out of the room, keeping my head low so that I would hopefully miss anyone passing by.  Now, I figured was one of the only times I'd regret standing out like a sore thumb, it was almost impossible to just walk past me. I was the pale kid with the long wavy black hair, the girl who had the eyes that absorbed every feeling and soul from you if you dared to stare into them. You could barely miss me, even if you wanted to.

After a brief pause, while I stared up and down the long corridor, I scuttled down the smooth tiles, praying incessantly that I wouldn't slip because that would just add to my anxiety. I honestly felt the way I did when I knew Josh was gunning for me. I felt like somehow I was going to mess this one up. The thing that was bothering me the most though, was that I knew I'd never find anyone like Jacky. If this didn't work out... I'd walk the world alone. It seems a bit dramatic, I agree, but that's how strongly I had come to feel about Jacky.

Consumed in a race of adrenalin that shook my body like a craving for drugs, I placed my trembling hands on the freezing cold glass door staring at the pitch black night that lingered just behind the glass, attempting to push it open, but no matter how much force I put onto the glass, the door wouldn't budge. I felt like I was being trapped inside. Like someone was playing tricks with my mind, watching me in the distance with a bloodcurdling laugh that disturbed the eardrums of any mortal soul that heard it. In a calm state of mind, I was always a stubborn person... I'd never give up easily, but as I felt my hopes becoming lower by the second, I pulled my palms away from the glass, tracing my eyes over the fingerprints I left behind, watching my quick breaths condensate over them like a cloud.

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