The Path I Choose To Take

Chapter 14: Suicide

Eun Byeol could feel her mother's clutch hitting the bed roughly. That means that she thinks Eun Byeol is procrastinating again.

"Eun Byeol-a?" Seo Jin said but Eun Byeol embraced the pain. It's agonizing but she doesn't care. The overdose is finally starting to take effect. In fact, she isn't even breathing anymore. All it takes now is for the rest of her system to fail. 

"Eun Byeol-a?" Seo Jin repeated.

"Eun Byeol-a?" Seo Jin said more worriedly this time. Soon, the truth will hit her in the face. "Eun Byeol-a! Eun Byeol-a, what happened to you! Eun Byeol-a! Eun Byeol-a! Wake up, Eun Byeol-a!"

Eun Byeol barely remembered being carried to the ambulance but she heard the sirens and the words. "Oxygen saturation is dropping."

Her mother kept crying. "Eun Byeol, you can't die! If anything goes wrong with you, I die too! Are we there yet? MY DAUGHTER IS DYING!"

Eun Byeol could still hear her mother calling her name, as if begging for her to reconsider, to try once more to live. In this deep, black abyss, Eun Byeol felt a jolting sensation. Then, she remembered. Tears running through her eyes as she leaves the room where the entrance exam is being held because she can't go through it and the disappointment she felt after that. Then, the memory changed to her chasing Seol A and pushing her, saying mean words to her. Then, it was the dark mechanical room where Min Seol A was being held before she died, where her mother locked her up so she could practice her way out of the guilt after thinking she was the cause of her death. The last scene shows a fictional memory.

In the admissions ceremony, she gave that chance to Ro Na because she earned it but in the dream, she was wearing that gorgeous white gown that her mother wore at the graduation ceremony at SNU and she glanced to see her mother, genuinely smiling at her, clapping, her expression seems to say, 'This is my daughter. I am so proud'.

Eun Byeol suddenly took large gulps of air. The last thing she heard was her mother. "Are you listening to me? Eun Byeol, wake up quickly and lets eat something delicious together. I'll make you pasta."

*** 

The first thing Eun Byeol saw was the portrait of a sweet mother protecting her child, being touched upon by the ray of light. Sitting next to her was her father.

"Eun Byeol? Are you awake? It's your Dad. Can you recognize me?" he asked. Eun Byeol could only stare at him. He was a sweet man. How could Mother ever replace him for that Joo Dan Tae? For all his CEO-ishness, he never looked good. "Eun Byeol, why did you do that? Why did you do such a scary thing, huh?"

Dr. Ha examined her while she refused to respond. Eun Byeol's mouth and throat feel tight. She took those meds thinking she could never live through this. It is also a way to apologize to Seol A, for all she had done. Originally, she wanted to die so she can take the fall while her parents are spared from the scandal. She is sure her mother will find a way to work around the system but Eun Byeol isn't going to live with it for long. She just wanted to pay the price and if she won't be able to talk, let alone sing, then that is sure enough to satisfy Seol A and her grieving mother.

Seol A, I'll suffer a great deal. This is all for the better. You've gone through something beyond humane and I acted so heartless. Don't worry. You'll soon be avenged. Thank you for showing me so much kindness and for helping me improve my math grades. I should have been thanking you from the start.