ETHEREAL - glee!

one. twenty

delilah sat at her kitchen table eating her pancakes. she had cut them into 8 perfect pieces and dipped a triangle into the syrup before shovelling it into her mouth, finishing off with half a strawberry. she continued this with every bite she took.

"hun, can we have a talk," her sister, elodie said, with an uncommon serious look plastered on her face.

"morning," quinn said, getting some orange juice out of the fridge.
"who died?" quinn asked sarcastically, taking a seat at the table after she saw elodiey's serious look and delilah's now scared one.

"quinn shut up," elodiey said with a small laugh. "i just got off the phone with that lady from school, the one who cleaned all our door handles when she came to talk to me,"
"miss pilsbury?" delilah asked and elodiey nodded, assuming she was correct.
"she thinks you might have something a little bit different with your brain,"

••••••••••

"you okay?" quinn asked, as the two blondes walked through school, looking for the choir room, to start glee practise.

"mhm, i'm fine," she answered, taking a seat by quinn. something delilah did when something went wrong was attach herself to quinn. quinn had always been a constant in her life. no matter what was happening in her life, she always had quinn. no matter what.

wether her parents where having a screaming match, elodiey was out with her friends and forgotten the movie date they planned or even when santana was sporting her new 'boyfriends'. through everything, quinn was always there.

people called quinn a bitch, she was. they even called her selfish, she was. but when it came to delilah, she was a real friend.

"why is tina in her pyjamas?" delilah spoke, going red when she realised she had spoke out loud.

"It's so weird,"
"This so isn't you."
"I personally would like to say thankyou, for giving my eyes a break from staring at the awful clothes that i am pretty sure you choose in the dark," santana said, as the rest of the room shot her a glare.

"I feel like an Asian Branch Davidian," Tina said, with a defeated look.
"Tina, are there any other looks you can try?" Mr Schue asked.
"Biker chick?"
"Cowgirl?"
"Hood rat?"
"Computer programmer?"
"Cross-country skier?"
"that's a good one!" delilah said, again going red for saying an inside thought out loud.
"Catholic schoolgirl?"
"Happy Meal, no onions?" Britt asked, "Or a chicken?" Britt suggested.
"Look, I appreciate it, guys,but it just isn't me. I know who I am, and I'm not allowed to show it,It's like communism," Tina said, with a sigh.

This made delilah upset, almost angry. she considered Tina her friend, and when one of her friends was sad, she was supposed to help.

Then, disturbing the peace, Rachel barged through the door.
"Guys, we have a serious problem. You know how I've been doing some deep background on Vocal Adrenaline ? Artie : Isn't that against the rules ? Rachel : No, not at all. Or probably. Whatever ! Anyway, what I figured out; I rooted through the Dumpsters behind the Carmel auditorium and I found 18 empty boxes of Christmas lights," Rachel said, and Delilah's phone binged, it was Sanatana asking her to sit by her, delilah ignored the messaged, her brain focused on solely the conversation she had earlier in the morning.
Then, Kurt and Tina both made unapproved sighs.
"Which led me to Joelle Fabrics. I asked them about red Chantilly lace. They were sold out," Rachel continued.

"Oh, sweet Jesus,"
"Oh, my."
"Wait, what?"
"They're doing Gaga"
"That's it. It's over," Mercedes said.
"We should have guessed it, They're going for full-out theatricality, They know it's the easiest way to beat us. Damn them." Kurt said.
"What's up with this Gaga dude?" was the last thing delilah heard, before her mind wandered back to the conversation, the words playing in her head over and over again.

•••
delilah lay under santana as santana interlocked her hand with lilah's, their lips connected as they kissed passionately. however, santana was doing most of the kissing and delilah's eyes were wondering around the bedroom.

"lilah," santana sighed, "was the matter with you?" sanatana asked, these words laced around delilahs brain.

to santana, it was a simple question, there had been something off with the girl all day. she wasn't saying anything or focused on anything at all, she just simply sat there almost as if her brain was dissociating.

"wrong with me," delilah mumbled, her eyes becoming glossy. she got up and started to scream, loudly. she curled both her hands into fists, hitting them against eachother.

"shut up!" she screamed, "no, there's nothing wrong no," she continued shouting, now pacing round the bedroom.

"princess, calm down," santana said, getting up and gently gripping the girls shoulders, only to immediately be shrugged of.

"get off!" she shouted, hitting the girl softly. "off!" she shouted, "you think there's something wrong with me too," she said, no becoming even more worked up.

delilah was in a frantic state, all her emotions had built up as if it was bubbling lava, and now the volcano had erupted.

"i'm not, i'm okay, i'm normal i promise," she said, no more shouting. no more pacing. no more tapping, just sobbing.

"come on, let me into that pretty head of yours," santana said, now holding the girl softly.

"they think there's something wrong with me," she sniffled, as santana stood up angrily. "there's nothing wrong with you, different maybe but there's nothing wrong with you!" she shouted. "no who said this,"

"they think i might be autistic,"

and with that, delilah explained the phone call her sister had with miss pilsbury and the conversation that happened at breakfast.

•DISCLAIMER• please remember autism is a spectrum and different people with autism behave differently. they way delilah is presented in this book, is how i've experienced autism, that is not to say that this is the only way autistic people present. i will present autism and it's struggles in a way that is personal to me. whilst i don't think this book is a good way to see if you have autism, if you experience behaviours like delilah and think that you could be on the spectrum i advise you to do your own research. then, if you still think so, see a doctor or psychiatrist if it's possible. thankyou for reading :)