Chapter 37

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"What happened then" Liam huffs as I still haven't spoken as I'm trying to collect my words so I can tell him it as truthful as possible.

"I was the only one in Mia's apartment the other day" I start off.

"And?" He urges for me to carry on.

"And then the door went and I expected it to be Mia or Niall but then when i opened the door it was Nate" I take a gulp.

"He rushed through the door and we started arguing and then he kept telling me that he loves me and that he never should of left me" I sigh.

"So then after he said that you jumped at him and kissed him?" He questions raising his voice a little, trying to understand exactly what happened.

"No, he kissed me first and I guess I was just too caught up in the moment because as soon as his lips touched mine I had a need to react back and I don't know why" I wipe an escaped tear away.

"You still love him" Liam mumbles to himself but I hear him.

"I don't" I deny it. I can't possibly still love him.

Liam gets up from the bench frustratedly with his hands in his hair sighing as anger builds up inside of him.

"I thought we had a chance" he spits "I thought you were over him"

"I- i am" I stutter.

"I understand that he was your first love Kate, but seriously, did you ever think of me when you were kissing him?" He questions frustratedly.

"Yeah" I nod my head "that's why I pushed him away because I knew I shouldn't be doing it"

"Fuck! You shouldn't! I mean I know you loved him and still probably do but am I just some rebound to you?" He shouts.

"No! Liam! No it's not like that! Your my bestfriend! I wouldn't do that to you!" I speak as multiple tears start to flow down my face.

"your my bestfriend too and you always will be no matter what but I just think we need a break right now" he sighs.

"A break? From what?" I ask.

"From eachother" he states.

"Oh" is all I manage to say. I look up at Liam as he's been silent for a few minutes now but he looks really hurt. I don't blame him. I shouldn't of kissed Nate back. Why do I always fuck things up?! It's not fair.

As I look at Liam's face I see his eyes start to tear up and he clenches his jaw, walks to the road where the car's go by and starts kicking about a stone.

"Liam" I barely whisper.

"What Kate" he huffs.

"I don't want to loose you" I let out a muffled sob "I'm so so sorry"

Liam kicks his stone away out of frustration and comes and sits next to me on the bench I'm sitting on and puts his head in his hands as I sit dithering with sobs.

Liam doesn't says anything for a while until about 5 minutes later he speaks up.

"Your not going to loose me, we just need a break and you'll always be my bestfriend no matter what and we did just say that we we're trying this relationship out but maybe this is the way it should be; us just as bestfriend's" he states.

"This is so unfair" I cry "why do I have to be such a fuck up? I fuck everything up! My mother died, I couldn't control myself, then that thing with Nate happened and then-" I can't even let out my words as I let out another muffled sob.

"Non of that was your fault" he states as I look up at him he's smiling through the little tears he has running down his face.

"It was! And now it's my fault that I've lost you because of me being a fuck up and kissing back my ex" I shake my head in disgust at myself. Why did I even do it?

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