The Snarky Indian

Part 11(iii): I am a burrito of sadness.

Alas, we have decided. Now we can eat peacefully. We'd ordered a lot. And by a lot, I mean three side dishes, at least 50 rotis, rice, gulab jamun. The works. It was like a do or die situation. Or rather, an eat or get cursed by the Gods. 'Never leave food on the plate'. That's one of the first things Indians get taught. Apparently, some God will turn your rice into worms the next time you want to eat, if you don't eat it all. I swear, there's a movie in which that happened. There's this lady who's pissed off at something, and she enters a wedding hall, pushes the server and spills all the rice. When she gets back home and sits to eat, her rice turns into worms that only she can see. No kidding. I have to admit we've got movies that range from one spectrum of the awesomeness scale to the other. This one would end up at the other extremity, I'm sure.

The food was spicy, obviously, it's Indian food. Unfortunately I was among those few Indians who isn't a huge fan of overly spicy foods, which would explain why I was drinking water by gallons and taking deep breaths (trying not to pant like a dog). 

Jer, as we've come to call him, was staring at Aryan in shock. "What?" came Aryan's reply with a stop-dude-you're-creeping-me-out expression. "How on earth did you just eat that chilli?" "It's not that spicy. Give it a try." "What!? Hell no, man. I wanna have a peaceful day tomorrow." Viha joined in at that, "It isn't that spicy. The food's whatever, it isn't all that good." She grimaced, "The side-dishes taste so weird." Yes, we're picky when it comes to food. Most Indians use these huge-ass plates that are filled. When they're done, the plate looks wiped clean. You don't even have to wash it. Ultimate foodies. 

Viha grinned at Aryan, "Wanna bet?" "You're going down." Replied Aryan. And so began the 'eat as many chillies as you can' contest. 

It ended in 5 minutes. Viha had her tongue out, and she'd coated it with sugar. Aryan tried to be all manly and stoic. That went on for exactly 7 seconds. Yes, I counted. He took a leaf out of Viha's book and 'sugar-coated' his face. 

While this was happening, Ayan and I were having a silent conversation. He caught my attention and mimed taking pictures. I understood right away. 

I was seated opposite to Aryan. I took out my cell phone and tried to discreetly take the most embarrassing picture ever. I clicked it. His nose scrunched up, tongue out, and one hand fanning it. Unfortunately, it was more adorable than embarrassing.

I shall have my revenge later.

As we ate, we exchanged stories, one after the other. It reminded me of school, when teachers called out names or roll numbers to read aloud. We used to count the number of paragraphs till our turn. 

School *sigh*

It was all well till one sentence. "Yeah, I totally get it. My girl and I are trying our best at the long-distance thing. It's getting tough though."

Viha, who was sitting next to me, stilled and looked up at the speaker. I looked at her side-profile and watched her eyes widen. She looked down almost immediately.

Oh. 

It was Ayan. 

She had a crush on Ayan. I did not see that coming. 

I could tell I had some consoling to do. If I knew Viha well, she was probably going to over-dramatize it and make it seem like they've loved each other for 30 years.  

Sure enough, as soon as we reached home, she locked herself in her room. I sighed in exasperation. The least she could do was be less predictable. I walked into the kitchen instead, and opened the freezer. Ice-cream, check. 

Then I walked to Viha's room and knocked. "Go away!" She yelled. "Okay." I replied and made stomping sounds right outside her room. "Fiiiiine." She yelled back with exaggerated annoyance, "Come in." I rolled my eyes. What a drama queen. I pushed the door open, of course she kept it open, and looked upon the scene. I had to stifle a laugh. 

Viha had rolled herself into her blanket. She looked like a burrito with her head and feet sticking out. I shook my head at her shenanigans. She was incorrigible. 

"I am a burrito of sadness." She announced. I couldn't help but grin at her, getting a weak grin in return. I sat down right next to her 'burrito-ed' form, "You didn't know?" "Did you?" She shot back, and I nodded. "I thought I told you about it." I said, sifting through my memories. I was pretty sure I mentioned it sometime to her, along with the aeroplane incident. She gave me a dirty look and said, "Yeah sure, you'll tell everyone else except me." She was acting like my long-lost twin already. 

I patted her head. Yep, I suck at consoling. 

Viha burst out laughing, "You have no clue what to do, do you?" I shook my head sheepishly. She rolled so that she was on her front. In the burrito, naturally. Then she said, "Tell me about your ex." I looked at her in shock, how on earth does she even know I have an ex!? "I used telepathy." She said. I snorted. "You told me when you were drunk. You know, when you got marri-" "Okay! I got it!" I interrupted hastily. 

I just looked at her for some time, just contemplating whether to tell her. 

Finally, I decided that I would. I nodded and began my story of woe. 

"It all happened whe-" "Really? You're gonna start with that?" "Do you wanna know the story or not?" "Yeah. Obviously I do." "Then shut up and listen." I cleared my throat, for dramatic effect, and began, "It all happened when I was in my first year of engineering. Before that, having a boyfriend was taboo. It changed slightly on pre-university, and more during engineering. He studied in the class right next to mine, same branch. I don't really know how it happened. We went on this trip and after that, he started texting me on facebook. Then we exchanged numbers. We used to text everyday. One day, okay, not one day. On Valentine's Day, he asked me out. I said yes, obviously. I mean, we just got along. We were so similar, it was unnerving. And then suddenly I dunno what happened but he just stopped. We fought and the next morning he goes 'sorry. Bye.' And voila, I'm single. After two years of being in a relaionship" I ended it with a shrug. "Did you try calling?" She asked. I nodded, "Once. He picked but didn't speak. I decided I didn't want to embarrass myself any more. So I just cut him off. Blocked him everywhere I could think of. I didn't want him to contact me, but I also did." "You were scared you'd just get back like nothing happened." I nodded. That was exactly it. 

"You suck at story-telling." She said in a matter-of-fact tone. My head shot up, "This is some stupid story! You should listen to me telling ghost stories. I scare the shit out of everyone!" Viha merely snorted and said, "Yeah. Yeah. We'll see." "I'm serious!" I said insistently. "No, you're Ana." She retorted. I gave her my signature 'really?' look and she grinned. "Hey I have another blanket. This is actually pretty comfy." I looked at her. The burrito actually did seem comfortable.

That night, two burritos slept peacefully.

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- QuirkyKatana :-P