¹ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐍 𝐎𝐅 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐒 ━━ anakin skywalker

𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘲𝘶𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘴

a collection of incorrect quotes
originally found on tumblr and
elsewhere just for kicks.

Padmé: What do you think Anakin will do for a distraction?
Leya: He'll probably make a noise or throw a rock. That's what I would do.
*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*
Leya: Or he could do that.

Ahsoka: In my defense, I was unsupervised.
Obi-Wan: Wasn't Anakin with you?
Anakin: In my defense, I was also unsupervised.

Leya: So basically, we both need to grow up. Mostly you.
Reis: Mostly you, you ugly ass noodle head.

Anakin, parking the speeder outside a bistro: Could you two head in and grab a table?
Soren and Ahsoka: Sure!
*Two minutes later*
Soren and Ahsoka, sprinting out of the restaurant, carrying a table: Start the speeder, start the speeder, start the speeder!
Anakin, panicking: That's not what I meant!

Soren: Okay, Anakin—kiss, marry, kill. Leya, Padmé, Aurora.
Anakin: Marry Leya, kiss Leya, kill Clovis.
Clovis: I wasn't even one of the options!

Leya: Anakin has a weird way of saying I love you.
Padmé: What do you mean?
Leya: Watch. Hey, Anakin! I love you!
Anakin, tearing up: I'd kill for you.

Leya: I think I'm losing my voice.
Soren: That means you can't yell at us anymore.
*Later that day*
Soren to Anakin: Turns out Leya's scarier when she's quiet.

Anakin: Leya, is it a crime to throw sodium chloride in your enemies' faces?
Leya: Yes?? It's assault??
Anakin: Well, I know it's a salt, but is it a crime?

Anakin: My biggest talent is being stress.
Ersa: Don't you mean stressed?
Anakin: No.
Obi-Wan, very tiredly: No.
Leya, very tiredly: No.

Anakin: Being a parent is so difficult sometimes.
Anakin: I got eight hours of sleep. It took me four days though.
Ahsoka: Anakin, you're talking to the wall.

Reis about Anakin, Padmé, and Leya: They all share the same two brain cells. Padmé usually has both, but sometimes she gives one to Anakin and Leya to share.

Obi-Wan: You took my Padawan's virginity?!
Leya: Sorry, it won't happen again.

Anakin: Everything's gonna be fine. It's just a crush.
Leya: Hey, Anakin.
Anakin: I love you!
Leya:
Anakin:

Anakin: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.
Ahsoka: Skyguy, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.

Ersa: So you've never been in a relationship?
Anakin: I have very high standards.
Leya: Hello.
Anakin: Oh no, she's meeting all my standards.

Leya: How petty can you get?
Soren: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

Anakin: How is the most beautiful person in the world doing?
Leya: I don't know, how are—
Soren, from the other side of the room: I'm doing great.

Windu: Don't forget to lift with your legs, Skywalker.
Anakin: Yeah, I know how to lift, jackass. I've been carrying this team the entire time I've been here.

Padmé: Who hurt you?
Leya, sarcastically: Would you like a list?
Anakin, pulling out his lightsaber: Yes.

Leya: Violence is not the answer.
Anakin: You're right. Violence is the question.
Leya: What?
Anakin, bolting away: And the answer is yes!
Leya, running after him: NO-

Ahsoka: We can't find Soren anywhere. Do you know where he is?
Leya: What? Do you think I have him micro-chipped or something?
Anakin: Do you?
Leya: Yeah, hold on.

Anakin: Leya just texted me.
Padmé: Then respond?
Anakin: Not now, I don't wanna look desperate.
Padmé: You're literally married to her.

Soren: If there's gonna be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.
Ahsoka: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.

Ahsoka: *screams*
Anakin: *screams louder to establish dominance*
Leya: Should we do something?
Soren: No, I wanna see who wins.

Leya: Anakin, I need to talk to you about something important.
Anakin: The building was already on fire when I got there.
Leya: What?
Anakin: What?

Luke and Leia: Can you check for monsters under the bed?
Anakin: Monsters don't live under our beds. They live inside our heads.
Luke and Leia:
Anakin: Goodnight.

Anakin: Am I right, Master?
Obi-Wan: I'm almost certain you're not, but to be fair, I wasn't listening.

Padmé: What does "take out" mean to you?
Soren: Food.
Ahsoka: Murder.
Leya: Date.
Anakin: All three if you're not a chicken shit.

Anakin: This is the best vanilla pudding I've ever had.
Leya, deeply concerned: That's butter, Anakin...

Padmé: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?
Reis: Have everyone stand.
Leya: Bring three more chairs!
Anakin: Kill three.

Pregnant!Leya about Anakin: I can't read whenever hot dads come near me. I think I have dilfsexia.
Soren: Do you ever shut the hell up?
Leya: Sorry.

Obi-Wan: You need to get Anakin to stop.
Leya: Okay. Anakin, stop.
Anakin: NO!
Leya: I tried.

Leya: It's a war zone out here. What happened?
Ahsoka: Well, Anakin—
Leya: Say no more.

Leya: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.
Anakin, drinking toast: Why do you say that?

Soren: My sister said she can't hang out this week because she just gave birth??? You've known those babies 24 hours and me more than fifteen years but okay.

Leya: My husband is too tall. How do I kiss him?
Padmé: Punch him in the gut and kiss him when he doubles over.
Soren: Tackle him!
Ahsoka: Dump him.
Anakin: No to all of those! Just ask me to lean down!

Anakin, wearing a lighter shade of black:
Soren: I see you're busting out the spring colors.

Leya: I drink to forget, but I always remember.
Anakin: Sweetheart, you're drinking a Capri-Sun.

Leya: I have a headache and according to Google, I'm gonna die.
Anakin, holding his lightsaber: So Google's been sending you death threats...