Wait... Where's my d!ck?! (Date a live x oblivion reader)

Prologue + Small bio

(Decided to have the book I'm writing go as a pet project where I do it whenever I feel like it.)

Bio

Y/n [Name changed to Mia due to being gender bent, like a girl owning a man's name is strange. Plus he/she needs a fake name to maybe fit into Japan (Both me and Reader-kun are incredibly stupid when it comes to actual Japan and names that the Japanese would use.)]

Codename: Either Magician or Wizard

Bit of description: Y/n is a idiot. He has no clue as to what he is exactly doing, and somehow everything sorts itself out. He had slipped and cracked his skull open and he was yeeted into konosuba as his oblivion character.(konosuba doesn't exist in his timeline, and neither does date a live)

Description of powers:

Being immune to magic as she absorbs it. She can still be harmed by straight physical damage. She absorbs ALL magic that she isn't casting on herself, so she can only be buffed or healed by herself.

God is dead and we killed him levels of mana due to his/her exploiting with rings and scrolls.

Very powerful spells crafted for the most damage, and even some spells like something a certain loli uses that starts with an E.

Incredibly disgusting levels of defense and health, because this is date a live.

A completely screwed up sexuality because her mind is still a guy while her body is female.

The mentality of a muscle wizard who's also lazy. like screw it, I'm summoning a storm atronach to deal with those pests for me.

The staff of Sheogorath to imitate Dio or the guy who uses king crimson (Don't want to spell his name incase if I screw that up)

Dawn/Dusk blade because it repairs and recharges itself.

An inventory full of random crap

Last but not least the red robes and hood that you get at the end of some dlc that give you the chance to reflect spells and damage respectfully... but it'll be 'Modified' a bit.

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Prologue

A certain dumbass named Y/n was sitting in a tavern waiting for his party members to come as his stomach suddenly growled.

Y/n: "Ugh, what's taking them so long?!" He muttered as he looked inside his pockets, searching through his inventory until he grasped a round object.

He pulled it out and saw that it was a nice and shiny red apple.

Y/n: Mmm apple.

He took a big bite out of it and swallowed.

Y/n: ?

He was dead as soon as he took a bite of it. It just took a few seconds for the poison to take hold.

As he was dying, he knew that he was fucked. He knew that the poison will persist for the rest of time and that even if he was revived, he would die again. He still didn't want his story to end like this. Eating a poisoned apple by mistake.

As he was lamenting about his sorry existence, he was starting to see a bright light.

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As he came to he found himself in a void, with nothing around him.

Y/n: "Is this what happens to people who die twice?" He asked to no one in particular, not noticing the feminine tone to his voice.

He had drifted in the void, waiting for something to happen. He had gotten his wish and saw a glowing orb approaching him. He quickly went to grab it to have some form of company before suddenly being engulfed in a bright light.

When he had opened his eyes, he was in the middle of a huge crater in the middle of a city.

Y/n: "What in the goddamn-"

He gets cut off by a beam flying in his direction towards his head. He immediately gets knocked over onto to ground, clutching his head in pain.

Y/n: "FFFFFF-ahhhh. What the fuck?!" He cries out as he has the equivalent of the greatest headache ever.

Y/n looks over and sees several women clad in some strange armor aiming guns and rockets at him.

???1: "Target is still alive, kill it."

As the random girl says the order a white haired girl rushes towards Y/n.

Something about ice and royalty: "Die spirit."

As she is about to impale Y/n he kicks her in the face and immediately casts a spell that he designed to hit a medium level of damage.

Ice princess slumps to the ground as a strange barrier shatters around her.

Y/n decided to kick her again just because he was a bit pissed.

The other girls charged as Y/n looked at them with annoyance and quickly casted more spells and sent them to the ground.

Y/n: "I'm gonna just head out and sight see okay?" He then left and was seeing all of the buildings that were in a state of destruction. He was looking around until he turned his head and froze.

There was a mirror that was showing someone with a more curvy figure than he was expecting, with a face that would make a man like him admire how attractive she is.

He quickly looked down at himself for the first time and saw that he had some medium honkers in the way. He quickly poked them to see if they were real and realized something as he felt a tingling sensation when he poked his breast.

Y/n: "Goddamnit... I lost mah son..."

He was now a she.