Thie Silence Will Set Her Free

      "What's your name?"  the man in white asked me.  I understood the sentence, but couldn't comprehend the words.  I sat there, emotionless.  My hair in knots and my face permanently twisted into a grimace.  I was sitting in a chair, a straight jacket secured tightly around my body.  I looked around the room in disgust, I hated the off white wall paint.  I looked back at the man, and simply stared at him. 

      "What is your name?" he asked once again.  Still not comprehending his words, I mimicked his question.

      "What is your name?" He furrowed his eye brows and replied.

      "My name is Dr. Andrews, I'm a psychologist.  I'm here to figure out what's causing your hallucinations, the voices in your head, your "visions", and most importantly, what triggers your violent impulses."  By this time I could fully comprehend what he was saying.  I don't know why, but all of a sudden I could.

      "Most importantly, what triggers your violent impulses."  I mimicked in a nasal voice.  He rolled his eyes and sighed in frustration.

      "Anne, please cooperate."

      "Didn't you just ask my name, or was that one of my many "hallucinations"?"

      "Yes, I did ask your name.  For your benefit though, not mine.  Do you know why you're here, Anne?"

      "Yes,"

      "Would you like to explain to me the reason why you're here?"

      "No, not really."

      "Anne, work with me here.  The easier you make this for me, the easier I make this for you."

      "You want me to tell you why I'm here?  Would you really like me to fucking tell you why I'm here!?  I'm in this hell hole because I killed six people.  Why did I kill the people?  The voices told me to.  That's it, plain and simple, the mother fucking voices told me to kill six innocent people at my daughter's high school graduation.  I did what the voices told me to do.  If I didn't, she was going to kill me.  Are you happy now?"

      "Who said they were going to kill you Anne? "

      "Her,"

      "Who is she Anne?"

      "She's nothing Doctor."

      "If she's nothing, why do you referr to her as a female?"

      "She likes it better that way."

      "Well, does she have a name?"

      "I believe so, yes.  If you're going to try to get me to tell you her name, save your breath.  She won't even tell me."  I said, rolling my eyes.

      "Anne, lets be realistic here.  Nobody told you to kill those people, you did it willingly."

      "You doctors think you're so fucking smart don't you?  You think you know how everyone thinks, you think you know what goes on inside people's heads, and if how they think resembles something in the books even remotely, you label them as mentally insane.  I know what you're fixing to tell me, 'Anne, calm down, that's not the way it is at all.  I'm a highly trained psychiatrist, I know what I'm doing." the fuck you know what you're doing.  If you're so professional, so smart, then tell me Doctor, how the hell am I considered mentally insane if I'm sitting in a room, right in fucking front of you, arguing like a sane person would?  Can you tell me that much doctor?" 

      "Mommy, mommy!"  I heard my four year old daughter, Abigale, screaming for me in the background, it was then that I woke up.  I got out of my bed and walked into the living room.

      "Yes, sweet pea?"  I said, picking her up.  She slung her arms around my neck and gripped her legs around my stomach. 

      "Can we go to Maggie Moos!?"  she asked excitedly.  It was getting close to dinner time, so I was considering saying no, but as soon as I looked into her big brown eyes, I gave in.

      "Alright, but from now on, no ice cream before dinner, OK?"

      "Yes ma'm!  Thank you mommy, thank you!"

      "You're welcome." I laughed.  I buckled her car seat and got in the drivers seat.  Just as I was about to shift the car into reverse to back out of the driveway, my vision went black, I panicked for a few seconds, then suddenly relaxed.

      "Mom...mom...moom...MOTHER!" 

      "Hold on Sarah!"   I screamed at my thirteen year old daughter sitting in the passenger's seat. 

      "I just wanted to know how much longer we have to sit at this damn stop light!"  It was pouring, and we were trying to get home from picking her up from school as fast as possible.  I rolled my eyes at her use of the word damn, she thought she was so cool.  The light turned green and the line of cars in front of me gradually started moving.  By the time I got to the front, the light had just turned red, thinking I had enough time, I did my best to speed across the intersection.  Just as I entered the middle, a car came speeding toward my right side. 

      "Sarah!" I screamed just as the car collided with, and killed my daughter."

      I snapped back into reality, and thanked god it wasn't raining today.