Chapter 21.5: Thoughts

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It was calm, peaceful even, tonight. Although you were sure there would be demons lurking somewhere out there, anywhere... Tonight was.. different.

You had awoken from your slumber just a few minutes earlier. The moon was still out and it was almost pitch black outside, if it weren't for the few sources of light clustered around the place.

A puff of warm air escaped your lips. You put a hand up to your face, closing your eyes and sighing again.

You couldn't sleep.

A small tingle went through your fingers as you gently pulled away. Right on your finger was a bright violet butterfly, it's wings shimmering in the light. Entranced, you followed as it flew out the window.

The moment you reach where the garden porch is supposed to be, you realized too late that someone is in front of you. Fortunately, they quickly got out of the way.

"Oh! Sorry, I didn't see you the-!"

"It's quite alright, Y/N-chan... Should you not be asleep?" Shinobu giggled softly, putting a hand to her lips.

"I should ask the same thing to you, Shinobu!" You scoffed playfully. The petite pillar pat the spot next to her on the porch and you happily sat down.

"Are you having trouble sleeping, my dear?" Shaking your head, her eyes wandered elsewhere in the garden. "No, I just had.. unpleasant thoughts.."

Shinobu jokingly placed an invisible coin on your palm, tilting her head to the side. "A penny for your thoughts?"

You look at her bewildered before bursting into a fit of laughter, trying hard to stifle them. Smiling sadly at the moon, you let down both your hands from your stomach.

Shinobu watched you with curious intent, her lashes falling slightly as she suppressed the urge to sleep.

"Well... ever since I announced my presence of a pillar and joining you all... I felt left behind."

"All of you are incredibly strong, you're able to take out so many demons.. so easily. And I'm here, getting hurt left and right."

The butterfly pillar tapped her chin in thought, her mind drifting. You took the few minutes of silence as a sign to continue.

"I know, I know," you huffed, falling back to rest on your arms. "I'm a pillar! I'm supposed to be stronger! I'm supposed to be able to do.. to do anything." Frustration strangled your voice, your hesitation making you choke back your words.

"But in reality... I've only just slowed down our progress-"

"That's not true." She snapped back.

The sudden interruption startled you both. You stared wide eyed at Shinobu who had a hand over her mouth, looking shocked herself. Her eyes softened and she scratched her nape awkwardly.

"Ara-! I apologise for the outburst Y/N-san! I had no illl intent, it was the truth." She narrowed her eyes at her own fiddling fingers, annoyance clouding her eyes.

"You're a pillar, you're supposed to be strong and mighty, that's what everyone's ideal is but I don't fit any of those descriptions," a look of distress as she clasped her palms.

"I was often looked down upon by others when I became a pillar. Everyone expected me to use something I didn't have." You furrowed your brows slightly, looking at Shinobu.

You didn't mean to make her upset or, in any way, inferior. You were just expressing your raw feelings at the moment. I guess you shouldn't have phrased it like that.

A sudden tug came from both your wrists and you looked down seeing slightly softer hands clasping your own.

"But I, no, we are pillars. We don't all have to work the same, we have our unique strengths and weaknesses. I'm not strong at all so I compensate with my poison and agility,"

"You are above average when it comes to strength and you compensate with your Soul-Seeking and timing, do you not?" Her eyes shone with understanding and you could've almost teared up.

Luckily, you held back your tears and nodded enthusiastically. Shinobu's usual smile plastered across her face and you mirrored her expression.

Of course.

Hurting others isn't a measure of one's strength here.
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Author's note

This is a call out post lmao.

ℙ𝕦𝕣𝕖 [ 𝔸 𝕂ℕ𝕐 𝕩 ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣 𝔽𝕒𝕟𝕗𝕚𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 ]Where stories live. Discover now