Dissociation.

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Lily agreed forcefully that I could stay at least until Johnny leaves for London. He leaves in two days time so I have to suffer that long with Lily's evil glares and stares.
I tried every apology note in  the book.

I just didn't exist to her anymore.

Johnny and I were seated on the porch as I felt Lily's eyes darting through the back of my head.

This is my house,I know I did wrong so that's why I asked at least.

You never cared about me or Jackie,just you and your stupid needs like you did with that scum!

Watch your mouth,it's my life which makes it my decisions.

But it effects all of us,dad.

She stays until I go, end of story.

Whatever.

It was muffled but clear,they were fighting because of me.
The door opened and Johnny walked in, he saw the pillow I was hugging and smiled softly.

"I'm incredibly sorry you had to hear that". He whispered gently, silencing my tears.

He promised he wouldn't leave my side for these two days. He played with my fingers,staring at it with a smile on his face. He seemed distracted,then his face grew sad,as if he remembered a bad memory.

"You have to go". He whispered,looking down. He couldn't even look at me when he said it.

I turned away as I felt tears pool in my eyes. He won't see me cry,he won't.
Johnny was right,as much as we both wanted to be here before I was gone forever,we just can't. It would be unethical in all sorts of ways,in every way.
We were just...in denial.

"I know,I've always known. From the very beginning-"

Johnny began crying,his head down with his long hair covering every part of his face. He cried like a child,sniffing uncontrollably.
He was finally accepting the truth and so was I.

I began rubbing his back as he laid his head on my shoulder,still crying softly.

"It's okay,it's okay. It's what's best,Johnny. We've only ever crossed so much boundaries and you know that. This is just something that has to happen".

He looked up,eyes shimmering with tears,he held both my hands,holding it against his chest. His heart beat like that at a drum at a rock n roll concert.

"Promise me something".

"Anything".

"Forget about me".
He noticed my face change and how hesitant I became.
My heart broke,he wants me to forget him?

"It'll be less painful for me,for us. Promise me". His face grew desperate,like he really didn't want to feel pain again.

Oh Johnny.

"I promise,love". A sad smile was shown as he bent down and kissed my forehead for a good few seconds.

I looked up and there she was,Lily...holding out my suitcase with an angry expression,she wasn't even looking at me.

"Your cab's outside, wouldn't want the driver to wait". She informed with a monotone.
I was about to leave until Johnny stopped me by grabbing my waist.

Lily gave a disgusted look as she stared at Johnny's hands that were grasping my thin waist,not even attempting to let go. She rolled her eyes.

"I'll...take her".

"Of cause you will". And with that,she whipped out her ph

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⏰ Last updated: Aug 22, 2021 ⏰

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